Welcome to week four (I think) of the Pembroke Mafia Football League, that weekly exercise in something that receives its share of lumps in the mainstream social media but is still more fun than getting run over by a vape smoking teenager in a pickup. Or getting run over period, but never mind that. The thought for this week is yappy people.
When I was a kid American men were supposed to be strong and silent speak softly and carry a big stick to whoop people with and all that Teddy Roosevelt stuff.
That’s now fake news.
These days, men, some with buns, are all over the internet, gossiping up a storm and fussing about football coaches and all sorts of things. Up in South Carolina, the only fans not besides themselves on message boards wanting to fire coach Will Muschamp are those besides themselves because of those who want to fire Muschamp.
Anyway, a loss to Alabama in which the Gamecocks played better than most of us thought they would didn’t help matters.
Here’s a meme I got sent from a certain elected official who shall remain nameless: It’s worth noting (I think) that up until a year or two ago I didn’t even know what a meme was, and I’m over halfway to 100. Last week’s results. And remember, this sucker is broken down between North Bryan and South Bryan. It’s kind of like the two Koreas: Team South, which consists of Richmond Hill City Clerk Dawnne Greene, Bryan County Administrator Ben Taylor, Bryan County Schools Assist.
Superintendent Dr. Trey Robertson, former Bryan County News Assistant Editor Curley O’Neil, District 5 County Commissioner Gene Wallace and yours truly, had a total of 32 misses. I missed a quarter of those all by myself.
The North Team also had 32 misses. It consists of District 1 Commissioner Noah Covington, Mike Clark, who needs no introduction; CEO and scorekeeper B.J. Clark, Bob Floyd, the Rev. Brad Butler and Pembroke City Administrator Alex Floyd.
Through three weeks we’re looking at the South holding a slim 88-89 lead.
This week’s games: Auburn vs. Texas A& M: If you know your history, Auburn was once a very good football program known for its rowdy fans who even in the 1900s were apt to get enthusiastic. They once greased railroad tracks so a team that rolled into town by train couldn’t stop.
That’s pretty cool.
Noah, Alex, Ben and Ted pick A& M. B.J. hopes Mississippi State vs. Kentucky: Alex, Ben and Dawnne take Mississippi State. Everybody else is picking Kentucky.
Notre Dame vs. UGA: I refuse to pick UGA because I’ve been to Sanford Stadium on the other side to cheer for Georgia Southern and got a beer coozie with a can inside thrown at me by a woman in her 90s. She was probably dating the quarterback. Me and Ted pick the Irish. Everybody else picks UGA. South Carolina vs.
Missouri: Noah, Alex and me pick the Gamecocks.
Everybody else picks Mizzou, which isn’t even in the South.
Michigan vs. Wisconsin: Noah, Dawnne, Trey, Gene and Ted take the Badgers.
Rest pick the Wolverines.
They’re essentially the same thing, I think. Small and fierce little teeth-loaded mammals that can take down a moose. One might trundle about a bit more, but I wouldn’t want to find either one had set up shop in my shed for the winter.
Louisville vs Florida State: Noah, Mike, Trey, Bob and me take Lousiville: rest pick FSU. SMU vs. TCU: Noah and Gene pick SMU. Rest of us take the Horned Frogs. Whooeee.
Mercer vs. Furman: Noah, Alex and Ted go with Mercer, the rest of take Furman. B.J. hates Furman.
I miss the Southern Conference.
Utah vs. Southern Cal: Bob, Alex and Ted select Southern Cal. Rest of us take the Utes. We’re for the young people.
Air Force at Boise State: Noah, Bob and me pick the Air Force to fly high, the rest select Boise to prevail, says B.J.
That’s it for this week.
No name calling, no limericks, no rambling on about hush puppies or giant bugs that look at you like they’re wondering if they can eat you. And, on that note, time to wish B.J. a happy 80th birthday.
Here’s hope the next 80 are as much fun.
Maybe Marsha will let you get a Harley and go bungee jumping. Peace out.hey’re wrong. He loves the Mighty War Beagles.
He, and the rest of us, take Awwbern.