Rev. Devin Strong, Spirit of Peace Lutheran

Have you ever considered going to a party that you weren’t invited to, attending a meeting that wasn’t open to the public, or showing up to be part of a team that you had not tried out for? Me, either!

Going into a place where you don’t know anybody, where you are unfamiliar with the unwritten rules, and you may not be welcome is terrifying!

Thinking about it this way gives us a glimpse into what it’s like for the first-time visitor coming into our churches. Of course, we would say that our church is not a scary place. Our church is a wonderful, welcoming, and friendly community, and it is—to us! You bet the church is friendly to its longtime members and old saints, but the real question is, is the church truly friendly to the newest visitor, the stranger, especially if they don’t look exactly like us or dress like us? Years ago, in one of my congregations, the grown son of one of the church’s largest and most active families brought his new, unchurched wife to worship. In time Emily became a member of the congregation, and in the process, she taught me a lot. For one thing, I learned that we must be deliberate about our church signage. As a non-churchgoer, it never occurred to her that she could attend a church event without a specific invitation. Emily also helped me expand my repertoire of church music.

The organ frightened her because the only time she had ever heard one was in old black and white horror movies! We need to stand in the shoes of new people.

Visitors notice everything— whether we want them to or not. I have heard it said that a first-time guest to your church makes a decision about whether or not they will return within the first eight minutes of their arrival on the property. That means that they are quickly forming impressions about the parking, the building and the grounds, the ease of entering, and the ability to find a restroom.

They notice the smiles on our faces, the warmth of our greetings, and yes, that pile of extra stuff that we meant to take up to the attic weeks ago.

It also means that a visitor has probably made an unconscious decision to return or not long before the pastor starts preaching! So how do we practice extraordinary hospitality at church? A lot of it is common sense. Just as we would at home before inviting someone over, we need to clean the place up and keep it in good order. We need to make sure that people can find us, and we need to attend to them throughout their entire visit, making sure that they have what they need. Would you ever meet someone at your door and then forget about them the rest of the evening?

Of course not! Then why do we sometimes do that at church?

More than anything else, we need new people at church to know that we are truly glad that they are here, not because we need their money or their skills but because we actually want to know them. It’s hardly rocket science, but it does take intentionality and genuine love. Let’s make friends with strangers, for Jesus’ sake.