When you are living the single life, your bad habits were your own little secret. It wasnt a huge deal if they went unnoticed for a spell. However, its a different story when it comes to marriage. Youve got your lifelong love to worry about when you hold onto your vices.
Theres no time for bad habits to stay hidden in your closet: do any of these vices sound familiar?
#SorryNotSorry
Not saying you are sorry in an argument obviously is a horrible habit, but not apologizing correctly might even be worse. Saying "Im sorry you are mad is not an apology; apologizing for someone elses feelings is condescending and doesnt show your remorse. Be honest, clear, and personal about your apologies to break this habit because it can have serious consequences if you dont.
Genuinely truthful lies
Not being genuine is an easily achieved bad habit. With social media painting the perfect image of your day, its hard to point out the less-than-perfect-parts in real life. Not that you need to post your strife on Instagram, but glazing over issues doesnt resolve them. Be upfront about your opinions, your relationship, and what your concerns are when you talk to your spouse; dont expect your partner to be a mind-reader.
A piece of the pride
Pride has no place in a marriage (shocking, I know) but somehow, it still sneaks in. Being independent and self-sufficient are admirable attributes in a person, but asking for help is a beautiful way to show love and humbleness in a marriage. Theres no room for pride when two partners are willing to ask the other for help, even when its not entirely necessary.
I (sometimes) love you!
Every single person can have a truly awful day at work; however, your love needs to be a constant in your life. Believe it not, you can still be frustrated at your partner while still loving them. Marriage means you take the good and the bad; its not fair to your relationship if you only love your spouse when everything is perfectly in place. Show this same consistently in your other relationships: dont just call up your friends and family when you need a favor.
"Well finally be happy *when*"
Pegging happiness to a thing or a place is a trap thats quite simple to fall into. It seems easy to think happiness will come after you get that Christmas bonus, or once you buy a house, or when you have your first baby. The truth is, the only constant in any of those situations is yourself; you are in charge of your own happiness. It is not your partners responsibility or up to your situation in life to make you happy.
Procrastination station
Now, procrastination might not seem like a terrible vice in a marriage, but thats the catch. Putting off things that need to be done now leaves them to fester and mold. I mean this quite literally when it comes to the dishes that are still sitting in the sink, but it still applies to problems that need to be addressed. Procrastinating talking about touchy subjects is one bad habit that has no place in a marriage.
Skipping lunch (seriously)
Swapping out an actual meal for a candy bar doesnt seem to be an obviously harmful habit when it comes to your marriage, but think again. If you are neglecting your health by not eating right, sleeping well, or taking care of yourself, that behavior is going to take its toll. Do what you can to live in a way that will mean you and your spouse can spend many long, healthy years together.
In the schoolyard
Being a bully is an obvious bad habit, but sometimes can be hard to diagnose when it comes to yourself. Talking down to yourself, being negative to your mirrors reflection, and failing to realize your own achievements is harmful to your partner (and yourself, obviously). Being a bully to your spouse is also something that needs to be addressed if its present in your marriage, but having a partner that is bullying themselves can also lead to concerning psychological issues.
Catastrophizing
This is a made up word, but it doesnt lessen its impact. Over-exaggerating and losing perspective in a marriage is a horribly bad habit. Categorizing every mistake or hiccup as a total catastrophe adds unnecessary panic and stress, which are two things you need less of in any relationship. Ask your partner to help you put things into perspective if you tend to overreact.
Swallow your pride and ask your partner to help you both discover these hidden habits early on, before they become too big to overcome.
Theres no time for bad habits to stay hidden in your closet: do any of these vices sound familiar?
#SorryNotSorry
Not saying you are sorry in an argument obviously is a horrible habit, but not apologizing correctly might even be worse. Saying "Im sorry you are mad is not an apology; apologizing for someone elses feelings is condescending and doesnt show your remorse. Be honest, clear, and personal about your apologies to break this habit because it can have serious consequences if you dont.
Genuinely truthful lies
Not being genuine is an easily achieved bad habit. With social media painting the perfect image of your day, its hard to point out the less-than-perfect-parts in real life. Not that you need to post your strife on Instagram, but glazing over issues doesnt resolve them. Be upfront about your opinions, your relationship, and what your concerns are when you talk to your spouse; dont expect your partner to be a mind-reader.
A piece of the pride
Pride has no place in a marriage (shocking, I know) but somehow, it still sneaks in. Being independent and self-sufficient are admirable attributes in a person, but asking for help is a beautiful way to show love and humbleness in a marriage. Theres no room for pride when two partners are willing to ask the other for help, even when its not entirely necessary.
I (sometimes) love you!
Every single person can have a truly awful day at work; however, your love needs to be a constant in your life. Believe it not, you can still be frustrated at your partner while still loving them. Marriage means you take the good and the bad; its not fair to your relationship if you only love your spouse when everything is perfectly in place. Show this same consistently in your other relationships: dont just call up your friends and family when you need a favor.
"Well finally be happy *when*"
Pegging happiness to a thing or a place is a trap thats quite simple to fall into. It seems easy to think happiness will come after you get that Christmas bonus, or once you buy a house, or when you have your first baby. The truth is, the only constant in any of those situations is yourself; you are in charge of your own happiness. It is not your partners responsibility or up to your situation in life to make you happy.
Procrastination station
Now, procrastination might not seem like a terrible vice in a marriage, but thats the catch. Putting off things that need to be done now leaves them to fester and mold. I mean this quite literally when it comes to the dishes that are still sitting in the sink, but it still applies to problems that need to be addressed. Procrastinating talking about touchy subjects is one bad habit that has no place in a marriage.
Skipping lunch (seriously)
Swapping out an actual meal for a candy bar doesnt seem to be an obviously harmful habit when it comes to your marriage, but think again. If you are neglecting your health by not eating right, sleeping well, or taking care of yourself, that behavior is going to take its toll. Do what you can to live in a way that will mean you and your spouse can spend many long, healthy years together.
In the schoolyard
Being a bully is an obvious bad habit, but sometimes can be hard to diagnose when it comes to yourself. Talking down to yourself, being negative to your mirrors reflection, and failing to realize your own achievements is harmful to your partner (and yourself, obviously). Being a bully to your spouse is also something that needs to be addressed if its present in your marriage, but having a partner that is bullying themselves can also lead to concerning psychological issues.
Catastrophizing
This is a made up word, but it doesnt lessen its impact. Over-exaggerating and losing perspective in a marriage is a horribly bad habit. Categorizing every mistake or hiccup as a total catastrophe adds unnecessary panic and stress, which are two things you need less of in any relationship. Ask your partner to help you put things into perspective if you tend to overreact.
Swallow your pride and ask your partner to help you both discover these hidden habits early on, before they become too big to overcome.