By Jeff Whitten, local columnist

Welcome to a sudden and unexpected edition of the Pembroke Mafia Football League, and, with apologies to the poet Robert Browning: “Oh, to be in Richmond Hill, now that summer’s here.

And whoever wakes in Richmond Hill Sees, some morning unawares, Among his many cares, A lot of traffic, and bustle, and more traffic, and people, and here and there someone unaware That more of it all is on the way and so down must go the oaks and pines To make way for more humankinds. The birds and bees will have to flee, as well as the turtle and deer, We’ll all need a beer! Or two, or three Or maybe four Who’s keeping score. And, after summer, when the autumn comes and it’s football season That only reason For men to holler for Carolina or UGA or Clemson or Yale — the latter, like Ohio State, quite beyond the pale!

We’ll not remember this day, when the moon in June reminded us time is over too soon. And hark!

The dogs always bark but the caravan moves on, 1,000 more custom cookie cutter homes have gone up before dawn They’ll be filled before noon by the last day of June so you’ll have to stay in your room As the transplants down here like to go zoom And to get on the roads is chancing your doom.

But oh, to be in Richmond Hill, now that summer’s here.

Now pass me a beer.” Sorry, won’t quit my day job of being retired. The above forary was prompted by a quick trip into town from the hinterlands of Rincon, where things are going in the same direction development wise.

But as trips go it wasn’t so quick, come to think of it. Took me nearly 90 minutes to get the 28 miles from my driveway to the BCN office. Roadwork here, road work there, roadwork everywhere.

Sadly, by the time it gets finished they’ll be so much new stuff we’ll need more roads. It’s a vicious circle. And don’t get me started on water. One of these days we might all be drinking reclamated pond water from the fish hatchery. And liking it.

Onward to football: The football season will be here before you know it, so it’s kind of time to start thinking about whether or not South Carolina will win the national championship this year. I’m thinking they’ve got to be a favorite.

Truth is, I miss the old days of 1980s era South Carolina and 1980s-1990s-200s Georgia Southern football.

There was a time when it was fun to go to an Eagles game — and maybe it still is, though I don’t see how seeing there is no triple option. All that fancy passing stuff is for people who can’t run the option. GSU could.

Heck, I’d rather watch the old I-formation stuff Southern Cal used to do than watch the kind of stuff that passes for college football offense now. If I wanted to watch pro football I’d watch NFL football, but I don't want to unless I have to, and, quite frankly, I started watching it some last year and got hooked on it again.

Too bad there’s no NFL football team in Georgia to root for.

Whitten is a funny looking former editor of the Bryan County News.