For my faithful readers who don’t have school-aged children, I am here to remind you all that it is now officially summer, at least according to the powers that be at Bryan County Schools. That’s right: no more yellow school buses clogging up the highways while you’re running late for work with croissant crumbs on your car dashboard (don’t breakfast and drive, kids!).

The month of May is objectively the best month for K-12 students in Southeast Georgia, because it’s when school ends for all students. Back in my day (I can’t believe I just wrote that, I’m only 24), the month of May meant attending various class award ceremonies, sitting for AP Exams, playing made-up games during Field Day at Daffin Park, waiting anxiously for the yearbook so you can get your friends and your favorite teacher to sign it (usually an English teacher in my case, unsurprisingly), and–as a high school senior–standing uncomfortably in white heels at the Cathedral of St. John the Baptist, praying to God and all the saints and angels that nobody hears my stomach rumbling during the homily.

This has been my third year as a managing editor covering the graduation ceremonies at both high schools in the county, and in a twist I decided to attend Richmond Hill’s commencement ceremony hosted at their new campus, which whenever I visit always makes me feel like an extra in some movie directed by John Hughes. The football field, where the ceremony was held, is seriously impressive, with more than enough space for students, faculty, families, friends, and the occasional balloon from Party City that eventually gets lost in the sky anyway. Speaking as a news correspondent, I’m glad that the weather was nice that night, with no rain on the parade so to speak (it did get chilly in the evening, however!).

I wish the best of luck to all those who graduated from both high schools this year in their future endeavors, whether they wish to become doctors, lawyers, evil tech overlords or lowly newspaper editors. My advice to the Class of 2026 would be this: work hard, be kind, and always eat a proper meal before attending long ceremonies.

A “Dog Shoots Woman” Headline

Back in my halcyon days (college), I learned, among other things, what news is. My wonderful journalism professors taught me the aphorism “man bites dog,” which describes the phenomenon of events being more newsworthy if they are unusual.

One example that aligns with that maxim would be a story reported this week out of Scottsbluff, Nebraska, where a woman was shot by a dog outside a convenience store. According to investigations, it was revealed that the blast had occurred when the dog had been moving from one side of its back seat to another while its owner was inside the convenience store.

Afterwards, “the dog had triggered the shotgun – which had a live round chambered – to fire, damaging the vehicle and striking the passerby.”

Readers, what stops a bad dog with a gun? A good dog with a gun! Someone alert our lawmakers.

Song of the Week!

Here’s Where the Story Ends - The Sundays (1990) -

I was debating between this song and “Summertime,” also by The Sundays, but I think this single better encapsulates my feelings towards graduations, such as heartbreak, listlessness, and the bittersweet melancholy associated with the inevitable passage of time. You can tell I’m fun at pool parties.

Andrea Gutierrez is the managing editor of the Bryan County News. Please don’t give her the aux during a summer road trip, her Spotify playlists are largely songs written by sad women with guitars.