Fr. Dawid Kwiatkowski
St. Anne Catholic Church
“But they did not understand the saying, and they were afraid to question him.”
In the Gospel of Mark, we read that Jesus was trying to explain His mission on a deeper level to the disciples, speaking about the cross and His future suffering. But they did not understand it. It seems as though they didn’t want to hear about the suffering ahead. Instead, they wanted to hold onto their idea of the Messiah’s mission— one in which they would gain popularity, more people would be excited to see Jesus, and they would be taught and cared for by Him. This might explain why they didn’t ask Jesus for clarification; they didn’t want to face the hard truth: “I will be killed, and you too will face suffering for My name.”
As soon as they avoided asking Jesus for clarification, we read in the Gospel that they began arguing among themselves about who was the greatest.
They were focused on earthly success—money, power, and privileges. When Jesus asked them, “What were you arguing about?” they remained silent.
How often, when we are confused in life—about something we’ve heard, something we’ve seen, something we feel or desire, or something that terrifies us—are we afraid to go to Jesus and ask Him for answers? Like the apostles, we often turn to those who are just like us—sinful, confused, and struggling—to help us make crucial decisions. But many times, these people aren’t objective or wise enough to guide us. The further we drift from Jesus in our search for answers, the more confused we become.
But Jesus wants us to come to Him. He wants us to ask, saying, “Ask, and it will be given; knock, and the door will be opened.” The disciples were likely terrified when they heard Jesus speak of His suffering and death. If someone was going to kill Him, they knew they could also be in danger. This fear caused them to distance themselves from Jesus. Though they were still physically walking with Him, they began looking at Him with suspicion.
This distance was enough for the devil to sow seeds of doubt, just as he did with Adam and Eve in the garden. We, too, doubt God’s goodness, especially in times of difficulty.
Our minds become clouded.
We want our suffering to end, and we often rush into poor decisions just to escape the pain. But one rule of the spiritual life is this: Do not make life-altering decisions in times of spiritual desolation. This, too, shall pass. Be patient, stay close to Jesus, and He will give you the answers you need. Yes, sometimes it will mean a cross or suffering but he will not leave you alone in it. He will be there with you and your decision will bear much good fruit.