HOLLYWOOD — God bless America, and how’s everybody?
Donald Trump Jr. explained his meeting with a Moscow attorney last summer in a Fox News interview Tuesday. The witch hunt is just starting. Last summer at the Comedy Store, I helped my old friend Yakov Smirnov punch up a joke and now I’m in trouble for colluding with the Russians.
The White House reacted to the Donald Trump Jr. meeting with a Russian lawyer pointing out that Ukraine colluded with Hillary. That was the better of two arguments. President Trump’s first instinct was to deny that he knows or that he ever met with Donald Trump Jr., but cooler heads ruled.
The New York Times trumpeted that Donald Trump Jr. met with a Moscow attorney arranged by a publicist who promised dirt on Hillary. It turned out to only be a pitch for adopting Russian orphans. The Italian Army just decorated the New York Times for shooting and missing once again.
Donald Trump Jr. calmly explained his meeting with a Russian attorney in an interview with Sean Hannity Tuesday. Nobody at the time thought anything of the meeting. Any time a member of the Trump family meets with a Russian lawyer, you just assume that somebody is ordering a bride.
Democratic Sen. Tim Kaine said Tuesday Trump Jr.’s meeting with a Russian bordered on treason. Don’t worry, if you ever ordered vodka collins, vodka gimlet or vodka martini, you did not betray your country. No one can fault the Russians for knowing how to get the best out of a potato.
President Trump survived the media onslaught over Don Jr.’s meeting with a Moscow lawyer for Hillary dirt when it turned out to be a ruse to pitch Russian adoptions. His luck is becoming legendary. If Trump had been president in 1963, Oswald would have killed himself loading the rifle.
President Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner had to hire an attorney to deal with the Russian meeting last summer and Donald Trump Jr. had to hire a lawyer as well. It never ends. Eleven-year-old Barron Trump handed in his book report on Dr. Zhivago Monday, and just hired an attorney.
Majority Leader Mitch McConnell delayed the Senate’s August recess until the third week of August Tuesday. It’s so that they can finish work on health care reform. If it’s true when heart experts say that inactivity will kill you, then the floor of the Senate would be littered with dead bodies.
The U.S. Senate will remain in session until mid-August to try to pass the GOP health care plan and tax cuts. It’s extremely expensive to get these bills passed. Today you can rent a house, rent furniture, rent a computer, rent a boat, you can even rent sex, but U.S. senators still have to be bought.
Johannesburg newspapers reported that women bandits in South Africa have been kidnapping men and drugging them, then enticing them to give up their sperm which they sell for good luck. This is a new approach. Most countries just advertise their beaches and golf courses to attract tourists.
New Jersey laid a plaque at the bluffs over the East River Tuesday at the site where Alexander Hamilton was slain in a duel with Aaron Burr in 1804. He’s a distant cousin of mine who founded the U.S. credit system, the Bank of New York, the New York Stock Exchange, the New York Post and the U.S. special relationship with England, while I’m just a stand-up comic. The other difference between us is, I kill.
E-mail Hamilton at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.