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5 tips for stress-free summer
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Erin Stewart offers five tips to help minimize stress during the summer. - photo by Erin Stewart
The advent of summer always fills me with equal parts excitement and horror.

Excitement for no schedules, no homework, no evening time crunch.

Horror for the fact that summer is like a stay-at-home mom marathon. We are on all the time. Part cruise director, part caterer and 100 percent referee, moms head into the three months of summer knowing there will be no breaks, very little quiet and a round-the-clock mess.

So, as schools start to ring that final bell this week, here are my tips for summer survival.

1. Brush up on discipline. This may seem counterintuitive because its summer. Lazy days. No rules. Anything goes.

Wrong. Like all good predators, children can smell weakness. So instead of loosening up the reins at the start of summer, I tighten them. My kids know that I am cracking down a little quicker than usual. In fact, my oldest daughter keeps calling it the Era of High Discipline.

But its the only way. If I can get everyone minding well, picking up one activity before starting a new one (I know, revolutionary, right?), and not repeating the same question a million times to get a better answer, then the whole summer will go smoother. Some of my go-to discipline books that I always brush up on when summer rolls around are Parenting with Love and Logic and How to Talk So Kids will Listen & Listen So Kids will Talk.

And if youre like me and your kids are trying this fun new thing where they bicker about everything, check out Siblings Without Rivalry. Each summer, I give myself a quick refresher course on when to mediate or when to walk outside and let them have at it without an audience.

2. Find some structure. I love not having the strict schedule of school, but I also like having some predictability at home during the summer. For us, this simply means having some sit-down time each day where my kids have to complete workbooks, read and write. They each pick an end-of-summer reward if they complete these tasks. This small dose of downtime keeps their brains from turning to mush over three months, and it gives me some structured quiet time I can count on.

I also am trying an idea this summer of posting a list of activities that must be done before getting any screen time. We've narrowed this down to chores, piano practice, workbooks/reading, 30 minutes of outdoor play and 10 minutes of something that helps the family.

3. Make a bucket list. Im sure youve seen all the adorable ways you can make a family summer bucket list on Pinterest. Or, you can be like me, and use a ripped-off piece of the grocery list. Either way, making a quick list of things everyone wants to do or accomplish during the summer is a great way to focus your time and energy when your kids come to you on Day Two of summer vacay whining, Theres nothing to do.

4. Take a break. Dont forget to give yourself some summer relaxation, too. Add the kids to the gym daycare. Go for walks at night with girlfriends. Get babysitters for date night. Do whatever you need to do to find some alone/spouse/friend time during the constant kid circus that is summer.

5. Relax. Now, after all my guidelines, I have the gumption to tell you to kick back, let down your hair and relax. Seriously though, its summer. The reason I take Nos. 1-4 so seriously is because they all lead toward a more relaxing three months. The whole goal of summer is to reboot, re-bond and rebound. So lay the groundwork with a little extra work at the beginning, and then enjoy the fruits. Because those school supply lists will be here before you know it, and then a whole different kind of circus begins.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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