It is with regret I tell you that our intrepid public servants in the Legislature have scuttled a bill that would have lowered the age of eligibility to serve as a member of the House of Representatives to 18 years of age and to 21 in the State Senate.
I don’t think there was much enthusiasm for the measure from those between the ages of 18 and 21, anyway. Their concern was that it would hurt their image to be seen associating with a bunch of old people who are always raising money from special interest groups while saying that it won’t affect how they vote.
I called my colleague, Junior E. Lee, general manager of the Yarbrough Worldwide Media and Pest Control Co. in Greater Garfield, to get his thoughts. Junior is not only a certified pest control professional; he is also widely respected for his political acuity.
It should come as no surprise that Junior E. Lee serves as a mentor to and a role model for young people between the ages of 18 and 21 who would like one day to become political commentators as well as pest control professionals. Who better to emulate than Junior? In addition to teaching these eager aspirants the fine points of spraying for chiggers, Junior E. Lee has found time to raise their political awareness. The man never ceases to amaze me.
I asked him what were young people’s reactions to legislators not wanting to lower the age limit? He said one texted him to say, “WWNC! IMNSHO!” and that the whole idea was “7K.” Junior said he asked some of his friends in the Legislature if they knew what that meant.
One thought it was shorthand for “I’d Rather Listen To Lawrence Welk Play The Accordion Than Hang Around A Bunch Of Politicians.” Another said “7K” probably was the amount of dollars ($7,000) a lizard-loafered lobbyist would commit to the kid’s political campaign if he or she ran for the Legislature and that the young person would never, ever have to vote for any legislation of interest to the lobbyist. The legislator says that proves lobbyists really don’t have that much influence.
He said he had reminded his constituents of that fact recently after it had been reported he had gotten a fat honorarium for making a three-minute keynote address to a lobbyist’s clients at Hilton Head and then playing golf for four days. “Work. Work. Work,” the legislator told Junior. “This job is nothing but work.”
When Junior passed that along, he got a number of text messages in return, saying “CSG!” He believes that was meant as sarcasm.
Sen. Ben Watson (R-Savannah) was quoted as saying young men under the age of 23 do not have the “frontal lobe development” to be able to serve in the Legislature. The senator is a medical doctor which one must presume gives him the expertise to assess the lack of frontal lobe development in young men as compared with the lobes — front and back — of his colleagues over the age of 23 who raise money from special interest groups while saying that it won’t affect how they vote.
When told what the senator said, a number of young people texted back: “YGTBKM! DYNWUTB!” While I am not a doctor, I know enough about undeveloped frontal lobes — yes, I have one — to discern the 18 to 21 crowd disagrees with Dr. Watson. I do, too.
I reminded Junior that it wasn’t a bunch of kids that thought we needed to be locked-and-loaded in our houses of worship and our honky-tonks and most everywhere else except under the Gold Dome or that had decided speed limits on our Interstates are a useless impediment to that segment of the motoring public that prefers to drive at the speed-of-sound or that...
Junior interrupted me to say while he agreed with everything I was saying, he needed to wrap this conversation up. Aunt Pokie over in Summertown had called to say she has ants in her drawers. I thought it best not to ask any questions. There is a lot I don’t know about the pest control game.
Junior E. Lee concluded by telling me that the bottom line is simple. If legislators think a bunch of kids with undeveloped frontal lobes are anxious to become politicians, they are mistaken. Young people tell him they have “BTTD.” I’m not sure what that means but it sounds serious. LOL.