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Building walls, curing baldness
God bless America and how is everybody
Argus Hamilton
Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and entertains groups and organizations around the country. - photo by File photo

HOLLYWOOD — God Bless America, and how’s everybody?

Elon Musk launched a Space X rocket into space Tuesday at Cape Canaveral. It put into orbit toward Mars one of his red Tesla convertibles with a NASA-suited mannequin behind the wheel. This fulfilled Trump’s campaign promise to make America orbit mars in a red electric convertible.

President Trump insisted his wall be part of House budget talks, citing his campaign pledge to make America great again. That could be a mistake. Once the border wall goes up, Democrats can win back the White House in two years by promising to tear it down and make America clean again.

Wall Street came roaring back Tuesday with a 600 point gain in the Dow Jones, which relieved a lot of people. The damage is done. After Friday and Monday’s crash, Mercedes-Benz of Beverly Hills reported that more and more customers are using coupons from community newsletters.

Psychology Today says the millennial generation is much less sure of itself than baby boomers were in their 20s due to the nation’s previous sense of self-confidence. That’s true. Back in the late 1970s baby boomers didn’t need warning labels on drugs, we had faith they’d screw us up.

Chess news reports a new online tournament called Titled Tuesday drew six of the world’s top grand masters into a 15-player field for a round-robin of speed chess competition. These players tend to be political conservatives. Democrats are boycotting chess because white always gets to go first.

A San Diego Girl Scout sold 312 boxes of Girl Scout cookies when she set up outside a pot store Sunday. That’s cute, but she’s in a cynical environment. It’s just a matter of time before she figures out the money she could make re-selling My Pillows outside the methadone clinic.

The Hollywood Reporter said TV ratings are way down for the telecasts of the awards shows this year. The Golden Globe Awards are followed by the Grammy Awards, followed by the Academy Awards. If you watch all three, that’s up to 10 hours of lectures than can be applied to college credits.

Hawaii’s head of the Emergency Management Agency resigned Friday and the employee who issued the statewide false alert last month about an incoming missile attack was fired. The entire episode was very hard to believe. It’s just not like Hawaii to get an early warning of an attack wrong.

President Trump dared the Democrats to force a shutdown Tuesday if they won’t compromise and agree to DACA citizenship for funding a border wall. The tide of arrivals is a problem. In Texas, you can sense the presence of Jesus all around you, and it has nothing to do with your religion.

Japanese scientists discovered a chemical in McDonald’s French fries may cure baldness. So now, thanks to McDonald’s fries, Botox, dermal filler, cheek implants and face lifts, every middle aged white guy can look like Robert Wagner. And then you just try to pick him out of a police lineup.

Philadelphia Eagles fans took to the streets after winning the Super Bowl and very nearly tore the city limb from limb Sunday. I totally get how they feel, I can’t stand it either when things go right for me. People don’t pay $20 a ticket at the Comedy Store to hear how well I’m doing.

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