From Bryan County Sheriff’s Office reports: 

DUI: A deputy on Highway 280 near Highway 80 around 2:20 a.m. March 13 spotted headlights that looked like they were headed at him in his lane, and as he got closer “observed the vehicle definitely in the oncoming lane.” The car then got back over and the deputy hit his blue lights and pulled the car over. The driver “stared at me like a deer in the headlights,” and as the deputy checked out the car he saw “a naked female passed out in the front passenger seat.”

Everything also smelled like beer, and the man reportedly failed tests to see whether he was fit to drive and was arrested. A female deputy was called to take care of the woman, who was listed as the man’s wife and had started to dress herself by this point. She was given a ride “to her residence approximately one mile up the street.”

The deputy had the car towed and took “the now sleeping (driver) to Bryan County Jail,” the report said.

Matter of record: A deputy was sent to a South Bryan address on March 14 where he met with the complainant, a 54-year-old man who “appeared heavily intoxicated and incapable of performing coherent sentences but wished to make a report in reference to a wound to the back of his head,” a report said.

The man “stated that on the previous night at an unknown time he was driving his golf cart to a St. Patrick’s Day neighborhood celebration while intoxicated. (He) stated that upon exiting the golf cart he fell down and struck his head. (He) stated that he believed that an unknown offender had struck him from behind. (He) stated that the unknown offender was possibly a neighbor that had asked him to leave the event due to (him) being highly intoxicated at the time.”

The man said he was a disabled veteran, and the deputy noted the man’s wound “was superficial with light swelling.” 

Later, the man’s son called asking for EMS because the man “struck his head on the golf cart.” After EMS checked the man out deputies gave him a case card and told him how to take out a warrant against the alleged offender, the report said.

Damage to property: A man reported March 14 he was driving on Harris Trail around 9:30 p.m. when someone in an oncoming car that passed him threw something with “a substance” inside at his car, splashing much of his windshield and hood with some soft of fluid and causing some damage to the car.

The man said he turned around and followed the car to a home on Harris Trail and saw several people get out and go inside. Deputies responded but were unable to determine who threw the thing at the man’s car. The driver, 18, told the man to send him the bill and he’d take care of it, and the teen’s mother also spoke to the man and “they agreed to work outside of the court system.”

Stolen car: A deputy was sent to a Highway 17 address on March 12, where he met with a woman who said a man stole her car, then brought it back.

The woman said she got a call on March 9 from the man, who was in Jesup and needed a ride. She said she went and got him and let him stay the night at her place, but at some point during the night the man took her car, then “returned the vehicle that morning and admitted to her that he had taken her vehicle without her permission.”

The woman said after he told her that, he left.

But there’s more.

The woman said he took cash and a machete from her car before he left, and “she grabbed the machete by the blade and sliced her own finger,” she told deputies, noting she had to get stitches and told doctors she cut her finger in the kitchen.

The woman said she called 911 at the time but nobody came, but the deputy checked and found no calls were made. The woman wanted to press charges against the man. She was given a case number and told how to get a copy of the report.

DUI: A deputy patrolling in Black Creek around 4:30 a.m. March 10 found a pickup pulled partly off the road at Highway 280 and Wilma Edwards Road. He stopped and found the vehicle still running with the driver sitting slumped over with his foot on the brake.

Efforts to get the man’s attention went unheeded, and the deputy noted he “struggled to even tell if the individual was breathing,” the report said. Another deputy came and parked bumper to bumper with the pickup so if the driver woke up and took his foot off the brake it wouldn’t roll into the ditch. EMS was also called.

After more attempts to wake the man up, deputies broke the passenger front window – which did wake the man up, sort of. “(He) was very hard to communicate with, he would start a sentence and then just stop,” and “(he) thought he was in Hinesville, Georgia.” Ultimately, EMS determined the man wasn’t suffering from a medical issue and probably was under the influence of drugs. His pickup was towed. The man was arrested and taken to jail.

Car theft: A man was arrested after a brief March 14 chase that began with him running a pickup in a ditch on Carlos Cowart Road, then trying to escape on foot. The victim said she was making dinner when she heard and saw someone crank up her pickup “so she started yelling at the offender … when he saw her he put the truck in reverse and floored it (with the door open). She stated the truck went backwards with the driver’s side tire going into the ditch and the door caught in the trees. She stated the offender then exited the truck and ran off down Carlos Cowart Road in the direction of Highway 204.”

The woman said she’d left the keys in the truck, and told deputies she didn’t need help getting it out of the ditch. “Her father in law would pull it out with the tractor,” the report said, noting the offender was uninjured and taken to jail.