From Bryan County Sheriff’s Office reports:

Fraud: A Richmond Hill man with a man cave went to BCSO on Dec. 20 to report a long story that started in February when he “was at his home (in his man cave) when he received a phone call from his wife … asking him if he trusted her.”

The man said he had no reason not to, at the time, so he told her yes. The man said his wife then came home with a new SUV, one she’d traded their old vehicle for.

Later, the man said while he was away on training his wife got behind on payments, so he gave her money to catch up, but “(she) didn’t use the money he gave her to get the payments caught up.”

In December, the man took the car back to the dealer in Savannah after his wife wrecked it, and later found his signature on a contract buying the SUV, “though he said he didn’t sign it,” the report said.

The man filled out an identity theft report naming his wife. But he was also told he needed to go to the Garden City Police Department because that’s where the crime happened.

Animal at large: An Ellabell woman called BCSO around 11:30 p.m. Dec. 20 to have deputies come over and remove a pitbull that had “walked through her yard and disturbed her small dogs inside the residence.” The woman was told “that animal control does not respond to calls after normal business hours unless there is a report of aggressive behavior, to which she replied that her attorney advised her to obtain an incident report ‘to keep the peace with her neighbor.’” The deputy asked which neighbor, “if any,” she had problems with, the woman answered, “none,” the report said.

“I asked her if she recognized the dog as one of her neighbors and she replied ‘I don’t know what any of the neighbor’s dogs look like.’ When (the woman) again insisted she required a report I detected an odor I associate with alcoholic beverages and provided her a (case number.) No contact was made with any stray dog.”

Damage to vehicle: A man reported Dec. 14 he was driving on Highway 280 when he hit a garbage can in the road. “The impact broke the mirror off his vehicle … he also stated that the impact was jarring enough that he thought the mirror was going to come through the window and injure his passengers. He stated that he pulled off and then a truck behind him also struck the garbage can.”

The deputy found the driver’s mirror “several feet east of impact,” the report said but “there was no evidence at the scene to indicate that the garbage can had actually been in the roadway at the time of impact aside from the testimony of the complainant. To the contrary, the fact that no other vehicles that traveled the busy roadway struck the garbage can indicated that the can was never in the roadway. In conclusion, my investigation could neither prove nor disprove the location of the garbage can. Additionally, the truck that hit the garbage can also did not remain leaving no corroboration of the complainant’s story."

So there.

Intoxicated female broken ankle: From a Dec. 8 report comes this narrative from a deputy who was sent to a mobile home on Highway 144 in the wee hours regarding “an intoxicated female with a possible broken ankle.” The deputy found the woman in a car screaming for help, and noted she “was very agitated and not cooperative with me upon arrival. (Her) ankle was severely disfigured.”

The deputy called EMS and “rendered aid until they arrived.”

The woman claimed someone pushed her down the steps of the mobile home, but witnesses said he woman “was so intoxicated she could not walk and fell. (One witness) stated that (she) became very angry because she wasn’t allowed into the residence and at the time of her injury (the woman) was alone on the front porch.”

EMS took the woman to Memorial.

Snakes in residence: Around 9 a.m. Dec. 10 deputies went to a Daniel Siding Road residence “for a report of snakes in the residence,” the report said. Once there the reporting deputy met the complainant, a man who “was very hyper and could not sit still,” and told the deputy “he was seeing snakes come out of his walls and floors.”

The man said the snakes “would start very small then grow very large and damage his home.”

The deputy asked the man if he was taking any legal or illegal drugs, and the man replied he was just taking pain medication from a recent surgery.

“(His) condition seemed to worsen while there. (He) asked deputies to come inside his home to check for snakes and damage. (He) dumped several gallons of gas in the home with intentions of killing snakes.”

While in the home, deputies reportedly found “some drug paraphernalia and a small amount of methamphetamine,” the report said.

Bryan County Fire and Emergency Services was called and the man was turned over to his uncle to be taken to the hospital.

“All drug-related objects were destroyed and disposed of at the Bryan County Sheriff’s Department.”