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Why men dont talk about the effect miscarriages have on them
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Congratulations to Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg and his wife Priscilla Chan on their baby to be! But, more importantly, thanks for speaking so candidly about miscarriages.

Zuckerberg shared a thoughtful post on Facebook where he opened up on the rough path he and his wife have had on the way to parenthood, which included three miscarriages.

You feel so hopeful when you learn you're going to have a child, he wrote. You start making plans, and then they're gone. It's a lonely experience. Most people don't discuss miscarriages because you worry your problems will distance you or reflect upon you as if you're defective or did something to cause this. So you struggle on your own.

Miscarriage is more common than many might think, with 15 to 20 percent of confirmed pregnancies ending in miscarriage, according to BabyCenter.

Yet despite the commonality of these struggles, many dont discuss the issue, which Zuckerberg noted in his post.

We hope that sharing our experience will give more people the same hope we felt and will help more people feel comfortable sharing their stories as well, he wrote.

What may be even more important about this announcement is that it reintroduces men into the conversation about miscarriage and pregnancy, which is a conversation they are often left out of.

Many dads are now finding their voices to share their experiences, Aaron Gouveia wrote for Time.

Despite the fact that almost half of all pregnancies end with a miscarriage, its still very taboo and uncomfortable for many people to discuss openly, Gouveia explained. And thats just among women. Men and miscarriage? That conversation hasnt taken place in hushed tones its been largely nonexistent.

This feeling of being left out is fairly common for dads, and dads may choose not to mention their feelings about the loss of a child because of what is happening to their wife, Hogan Hilling reported for Babble.

A few days after we received news of the miscarriage, I was still pretty distraught. I wanted to talk to my wife about it, one anonymous contributor told Hilling. But after I saw how more distraught she was, I decided to just be there for her and worry about me later.

A study conducted by University College London reported that 46 percent of partners chose not to share their feelings with their wife because they were concerned about the possible consequences it could have on them, Radhika Sanghani reported for The Telegraph.

While a wifes grief over the miscarriage may have been proven to last longer, more than half of partners said it affected their sleep, work and ability to concentrate.

Beyond that, 22 percent said they felt left out of conversations with medical professionals and the majority were unaware of the opportunities they had to connect with others in similar situations through support groups.

Its key to remember the difficulties a man and woman might be facing after a miscarriage. Give them both support and include them both in important conversations because the loss felt by parents is real and very deep, Hilling said.

We already had names for the baby, another man told Hilling. The dreams I had hoped for as a dad suddenly vanished. It made the loss much more difficult.
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