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How to set up your child for first-time cellphone success
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What do parents need to consider before deciding whether to buy their children a cellphone? - photo by Amy Iverson
So you took all the pros and cons into consideration and have decided to buy your child that first mobile phone for Christmas.

Congratulations and condolences. Now what?

Its time to do more research, make sure the phone is set up properly for your child, and then have many conversations with him or her before and after you hand over the digital keys to the cellphone kingdom.

First, parents need to decide if their child should have a dumb phone or a smartphone. If the decision is to go with a phone unable to go online, moms and dads can tell their kid that they will only have talk and text ability to begin their phone journey. Parents may want their childs first phone without internet capabilities for many reasons:

Children wont be tempted to surf the web since they wont have a browser.

Kids wont have access to any apps, which takes a big chunk of the worry equation away from parents.

No chance of kids going over data limits.

Much lower cost of replacement if the phone is broken.

Many dumb phones have decent cameras and are fairly indestructible, which is great for younger children.

Parents may decide to start with a smartphone because mom is upgrading, or dad wants everyone on the same family sharing plan. If a smartphone is the way to go, make sure to prep the phone properly before handing it over.

For iOS: Set up Restrictions. Go to Settings/General/Restrictions. Type in a PIN. Only you as the parent will have the ability to turn on or off nearly any feature on an iPhone. Turn off location services for most things so no one except you is tracking your childs locations. You may want to start by not allowing your child to download any apps, disabling the web browser and banning explicit and mature content. Parental controls on iOS are fairly comprehensive and user-friendly.

For Android: Go to Settings/Users/Add user. Then create a specific user account to decide whether or not to allow internet access and the App Store, and filter content. Some Android phone manufacturers also offer software to help with parental controls.

If parents want more robust features, a third-party app may be the answer. Parents may also choose the option of buying parental control services from their wireless carrier. These are add-on packages to help parents monitor usage, set limits and track phones for an extra fee.

Finally, parents should talk with their child about rules that will go into effect if they are privileged enough to use a cellphone. Its really tough to backtrack and try to set rules after kids have already had free rein with a phone. Set up guidelines and sign a contract before kids ever get their hands on that shiny new gadget. Make up the rules and the consequences together. Children will understand and follow those rules much better if they are part of the process.

LifeLock and the National PTA have made the whole child/parent tech contract process easier. They collaborated on an interactive contract building website that anyone can use. Some ideas of responsibilities for the child:

My parents will know the pass code to the phone and may check it at any time.

I will always answer a text or phone call from a parent.

I will never respond to unknown numbers.

I understand these could be spam and may cause all sorts of problems.

I agree to plug my phone in by ___ oclock every school night and by ___ oclock on the weekends in my parents bedroom.

I understand and will obey my schools cellphone rules.

I may face consequences at home as well as at school if I break these rules.

I am aware of my text/talk/data limits and will be responsible for any cost associated with going over those limits.

I will be responsible for repairing or replacing a lost or damaged phone.

I will never text, post or take a photo or video of anything I wouldnt want on a neighborhood billboard or broadcast at a school assembly.

Some responsibilities for the parent:

I will make an effort to stay up to date on technology and will thoughtfully research any questions or requests my child has concerning apps, texting and the web.

I will listen calmly and discuss any concerns my child has regarding bullying or inappropriate content issues on their phone.

A child should agree to these and any other terms a parent feels necessary before having the privilege of using a cellphone. Kids should understand a parent can take phone privileges away if any rules are broken. The whole family tech experience will go much more smoothly if the newest phone user knows the expectations and possible consequences before ever taking their first selfie.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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