I’m Athena — the Greek goddess of wisdom, warfare, battle strategy, justice and the arts — taking over Sasha’s column this week. Nice to meet you! I’m here to plug my new film, “Immortals.”
I’m played in the movie by Isabel Lucas. Don’t worry, you’ll like her.
“Immortals” tells the story of Theseus, a fatherless peasant who has the right stuff to become an epic hero. It’s your chance to meet actor Henry Cavill, formerly of HBO’s “The Tudors” and soon to play “Superman: Man of Steel.” He stars as Theseus, who is chosen of the gods to lead mankind against the bitter King Hyperion, played by Mickey Rourke.
Hyperion dreams of murdering the gods in vengeance for unanswered prayers. He plans to find and use the mythical Epirus bow to free the Titans — the only enemies of Zeus’s lot — who have been locked away inside Mt. Tartarus.
Zeus secretly is rooting for Theseus, even though he doesn’t believe in the would-be hero. All the immortals on Olympus fear the release of the Titans but are forbidden from directly aiding Theseus. The punishment is death.
If you’re going to see “Immortals,” see it in RealD 3D. This is one to experience on the big screen with a fun group of friends.
Mythology buffs may leave disappointed. Very few Olympians are represented. Fans of “300” will be pleased. I’ll warn the squeamish about the gore. Though it wasn’t as difficult to look at as, say, a “Saw” movie, there are instances where, to quote my friend Julio, all we saw were “bloody gobs of blood.”
Actor Stephen Dorph is a thief and sidekick for Theseus, and he’s in the best shape of his life. I sincerely hope his agent finds him more work! While you’re at it, Hollywood, book some more gigs for Zeus actor Luke Evans, too.
I’m a fan.
But seriously, what was that final scene? It looked like some messed up version of the Sistine Chapel. When fighting in Olympus, why would you feel the need to float in the air in slow motion? And why would there be horses there? Horses without wings? Really? … No.
Come on back for more Showtime with Sasha next week. The goddess commands you. I’ll see you then.