For the second straight season, Dawnne Greene won the Pembroke Mafia Football League’s regular season per PMFL rules which mandate the person with the fewest misses win.
But unlike last season, there’s some controversy in at least one circle over whether she actually won. “After having an independent team of observers that just happened to show up to PMFL north headquarters at 3 a.m.
in Floyd Farms T-shirts recount the ballots, our local Pembroke media conglomerate has declared Pineywood President-Elect Bob and and myself the winner,” former Pembroke City Administrator Alex Floyd said of himself and his father, Pineywood President Bob Floyd.
That revelation has sparked something sneaky in PMFL CEO B.J. Clark, who asked that he be declared winner of third place.
Just like that, it was a done deal. “Yessir, Mr. Speaker,” Floyd said.
With that in mind, here are the adjusted standings, although it’s possible Greene, along with Ted O’Neil and Ben Taylor, who finished tied for second prior to the challenge, could mount a challenge in court. But O’Neil, the former Assistant editor of this weekly newspaper, is more interested in hoops at present with his alma mater Michigan State currently ranked No. 4.
Taylor, meanwhile, has been rumored to be in line for a job in Atlanta with soon-to-be Lt. Gov.
Noah Covington, and has therefore been shopping Amazon for the right kind of socks.
At any rate, here are the rest of the standings.
The Rev. Lawrence Butler, spiritual advisor to Clark, was in third and is now in fourth, barring a reversal or deversal, which is what you call it when you reverse a reversal and then sort of pause for a second to make sure that reversal isn’t itself overturned.
The courts call it a “doover.”
Mike Clark, our minister of parts and groupies under the Medicare act of 2013, was in fourth with 26 misses but is now in fifth.
Covington is now in sixth all by his lonesome, with 28 misses. He had been tied for fifth with B.J. Clark, who as we know is now aligned with the Floyds. It’s a dirty business, football picking. District 5 Commissioner Gene Wallace, DMD, is in seventh place after all this after a runin with some maniac molars. He was in sixth with 30 misses. Your’s truly, BCN editor Jeff “Potty Trained Elmo” Whitten, is in eighth with 31 misses; Ted and Ben are now relegated by the selectorial junior college of unelected officials to be ninth and 10th, respectively, because 2020 has been that kind of year.