Nature and I have not been getting along well lately. I love the outdoors and enjoy all that nature has to offer. But it seems as though we are experiencing an overabundance of nature’s creepy-crawly pests.
Take spiders for example; they seem to be getting bigger with each year, and they are everywhere right now. I was mowing my grass last week and darkness was fast approaching. I was cutting the grass under one of our trees and ran right through a giant spider web that enveloped my head.
I spent the next 20 minutes patting myself down looking for the spider that must have been in my hair or down my shirt. I did not find the spider. I’m sure he thought my head would be too big to eat and decided to let me get away.
And I thought being a “fat-head” was a bad thing.
Snakes are also on my bad list right now, too. I leave them alone when they leave me alone, but lately they have been slithering into my personal space.
Snakes are supposed to be outside, not in my garage. He must have come in looking for the frogs and crickets that have also decided to make a home for themselves inside our house.
And don’t get me started on fleas — every-so-often we will find one here and one there. We have cats, so you expect that once in a while. But these cats NEVER go outside.
We went away for the Labor Day weekend and the flea that was over “here” must have gotten together with the flea that was over “there.” Needless to say I have been in flea Jihad mode ever since.
The moles and armadillo’s also continue to ravage my lawn. South Georgia in the summer is really fun.
It reminds me of that song “Spiders and Snakes” that Jim Stafford made popular in the 1970s. It’s a song about a girl named Mary Lou. During the chorus of the song she says, “I don’t like spiders and snakes, and that ain’t what it takes to love me, you fool, you fool.”
I am going to try to play that song on my CD player that I have sitting on my back porch. Maybe all these critters will get the hint.
I’ve been told these pests are the result of a very hot and humid summer. Thank goodness there is cooler weather on the horizon.
I wonder if Mary Lou knew anything about sand gnats. Oy vey.

Rich DeLong is the executive director of The Suites at Station Exchange. You can e-mail him at Suites.StationExchange@gmail.com.