Rev. Dr. Devin Strong

Spirit of Peace Lutheran Church

Father’s Day is just behind us, and it’s got me thinking about the love/hate relationship that we have with the image of God as our Heavenly Father. I went to seminary more than three decades ago, and even then, our worship professors were challenging us not to rely exclusively on fatherly word pictures for the deity. It’s understandable. There are a lot of toxic men out there. Many people, especially women, have known men who are arrogant, controlling, even violent. The church does not want us transferring our experiences with less-than-perfect bosses, boyfriends, and fathers onto our feelings about God.

As much as I love him and miss him every day, (He died in 2019), my own dad was less-than-perfect, and so am I. Probably because of obstacles that he faced in his own childhood, my father lived with deep feelings of inadequacy that he often translated into bluster and boastfulness. He did not know how to release those feelings and likewise, had a hard time expressing love for others, though I believe in my bones that he felt that love.

As for me, especially when my kids were small, I worked too much, and though I made sure that my kids heard me express my love for them every day, they also heard me express being grumpy and tired far more than I wish they would have.

I would not wish anyone to carry the kinds of disappointments that I had with my dad or the disappointments that my kids have with me into their relationship with the Lord of Love, so we work on painting many and varied pictures of the divine in our talk. We don’t want our pictures of our Heavenly Father to be limited by our earthly fathers. That said, many people were blessed to have amazing, tender, joyous, and strong fathers, and almost every earthly father embodies some attributes of God himself, mine included.

When we pray to God our Father, we do not imagine that God is truly male as we understand maleness. The Creator of the Universe is neither male nor female.

It is equally true that God is both male and female, and God is greater, broader, and deeper than our puny, mortal minds can possibly comprehend. However, on this side of the grave, male and female are two of the fundamental categories that we have for describing life, so we cannot help but use these words.

When we speak of God as Father, we mean to draw on the very best images of strength, protection, and power used for the sake of others. We also mean to bring up memories for you of kindness, laughter, guiding, and great love.

Words and experiences are all that we mortals have.

We use them to dream about what the God who made every single person on Earth might be like. But my failures are mine alone. No one should blame them on my Creator. Neither should we stop using all the best words that we have to describe God just because no words are fully adequate.

I hope that your Father’s Day was fabulous! If you are lucky enough to still have your dad, I hope that you gave him a big hug. If not, I pray that you can swim in the best memories.

And know that you will always have a Heavenly Father who loves you.

God Loves You, and So Do I!