Spoiler alert to those who haven’t seen The Eclipse–Bella chooses Edward in the end.
Just kidding; the eclipse on everyone’s minds (and pupils) this week was truly remarkable to witness. I got to see it myself at J.F. Gregory Park using the complimentary T-Mobile eclipse sunglasses that my brother generously donated to me (okay, I just stole them from his car–but in fairness, he had extras!).
It was also nice to see so many folks so animated over this celestial phenomenon. Kids, parents, teachers, neighbors, and co-workers bonding over an eclipse and–gasp–actually spending time together sans smartphones made my heart all warm and fuzzy. Go space!
I suggest we use the solar system to help us solve other pressing concerns in modern American life. Don’t know what to make for dinner? Try a casserole–the Big Dipper will never steer you wrong. Does your boss hate the “Work from Home” movement? It would be dreadful (yet awfully convenient) if a meteor falling from the sky prevented you from making your daily commute. Need a Father Day’s gift for your old man who believes that the moon landing was faked? How about sending him on an all-expenses paid, one-way ticket to MARS so that his willful ignorance can’t disrupt your peaceful Sunday afternoons any more? (That last one may or may not be a joke).
Cheese Louise
Why do lactose intolerant people still insist on eating dairy products in public? To be fair, it’s quite difficult to avoid dairy completely–especially at cafes and restaurants–but my brother doesn’t even bother to make the effort. He will unabashedly order items like grilled cheese sandwiches, chili dogs, and quesadillas when we go out somewhere together, and he’ll still find the audacity to whine to me later as if I’ll be sympathetic.
Last month, we went out to see Jim Gaffigan at the EnMarket area in Savannah, and you can imagine the eyeroll I made when my brother came back from the concessions stand with a triple cheese tater tots tray and some cans of Coke Zero for the both of us. He said he ‘needed the energy’ since he was headed downtown to shoot nightclub photos for St. Patrick’s Day weekend. Whatever. On the bright side, I reassured him by saying that if he farts in a nightclub, it’s super easy to get away with it in a crowd.
Album of the week: Under My Skin by Avril Lavigne (2004)
This album turns twenty on May 25 this year, but it still sounds fresh to my Gen Z eardrums. Where would pop music be without Avril Lavigne? In a less cool place, I would imagine. Olivia Rodrigo’s albums in particular owe a lot to the musical trailblazing done by both Avril Lavigne and her fellow Canadian compatriot Alanis Morissette.
I firmly believe that belting out the chorus to “My Happy Ending” while driving away on a road trip somewhere should be a rite of passage for young people.
If there’s one thing I don’t like about this album, it’s that it gave me the silly idea of getting blonde highlights at the age of 11, and then I quickly realized how freaking hard it is to dye straight black hair like mine, so I eventually just gave up. (My mom was relieved, and I settled for wearing tons of tacky earrings and necklaces instead).
Andrea Gutierrez is the editor of the Bryan County News.