By allowing ads to appear on this site, you support the local businesses who, in turn, support great journalism.
Woman to Facebook world: My procreative plans are none of your business
6dd9585f6e5beacd2c5ef231cb864428569c5d47cd39531feabb3b9e28a9693b
Ever asked someone when they plan to have kids? According to a Michigan woman, that kind of personal information is really none of your business. - photo by Jessica Ivins
ANN ARBOR, Michigan Ever asked someone when they plan to have kids? According to a Michigan woman, that kind of personal information is really none of your business.

Emily Bingham is sick and tired of people asking her about her personal life, particularly when it comes to children and family plans, according to the Detroit Free Press. So she took to Facebook to air her grievances, and elicited a response that would suggest quite a few people in her position feel exactly the same way.

In her Sept. 21 post, Bingham included a picture of what she called a random ultrasound she found with a Google image search.

This is just a friendly PSA that peoples reproductive and procreative plans and decisions are none of your business, she wrote.

Bingham continues:

Before you ask the young married couple that has been together for seemingly forever when they are going to start a family before you ask the parents of an only-child toddler when a little brother or little sister will be in the works before you ask a single 30-something if/when she/he plans on having children because, you know, clocks ticking just stop.

Bingham goes on to point out that since no one knows the entirety of another persons situation, its unfair to constantly nag them about things they have no business knowing in the first place. She highlights the fact that many suffer infertility issues or miscarriages, many are on the fence about children in general, and some just havent found the relationship for which they hope.

You dont know how your seemingly innocent question might cause someone grief, pain, stress or frustration, she writes. I can tell you from my own experiences it more than likely does.

Bingham, 33, told the Free Press that she was inspired to write the post after a last-straw conversation at dinner with her boyfriends family, in which she was chided about grandchildren.

Im 33. Ive never been married. Ive had people say things like, Youre getting older, do you want to have kids? Your clock is ticking, she said. I think I finally felt mad enough about it to say something.

The post clearly hit home for thousands of people Binghams story was picked up by numerous news outlets in the U.S. and abroad and has been shared more than 60,400 times on Facebook.

Never fully understood why this needs to be explained but glad that youve done it so beautifully, wrote one Facebook commenter.

Bingham, a freelance journalist, said she hopes her story and message will inspire others to think twice before asking unintentionally insensitive questions.

People arent intending to be hurtful, but the questions can be insensitive and cause people grief, she said.
Sign up for our E-Newsletters
How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
ce406c66b9871a104ac24256a687e4821d75680dcfc89d9e5398939543f7f88f
A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
Latest Obituaries