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Why raising a boy is different
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Erin Stewart's family is getting used to the differences between boys and girls in their house as their son climbs, destroys and finds innovative ways to ride rocking horses. - photo by Erin Stewart
I never really bought into the idea that boys are inherently rowdier or more active than girls. I always thought that this was just a lame way for parents of boys to excuse bad behavior or feel better about their parenting. (I know, write it down in the Big Book of Self-Righteous Things I Thought I Knew Before I Had Kids.)

Then, I had a son. A climbing, nonstop, Energizer-Bunny-of-a-son who was somehow born understanding on a biological level that balls are meant to be thrown, block towers are destined to be destroyed and baby gates are mere suggestions.

Now I understand things I didnt before like how toddler-proofing a home for a girl means putting in some baby locks and some outlet protectors, but for a boy, it means something entirely different. So far, toddler-boy-proofing my house has meant removing all the barstools and occasionally the kitchen chairs so my son wont push them to the counter, climb up and jettison all the groceries off the counter while I carry in the rest of the bags.

It also means not leaving toilet lids open so he wont be tempted to stick towels in the water and then suck them dry. Yea. That happened. I swear I spend 90 percent of my day running toward my son yelling, No! Wait stop!

Im not saying all girls are calm, perfect angels or all boys are hooligans, but I am beginning to see that boys and girls see the world and their place in it in their own unique way. Understanding the difference has been quite the learning curve for me. Im used to being able to tell my daughters that its quiet time or that something is just for looking. These phrases seem to have no translation into toddler boy speak.

I can say the exact same phrase to my son as I did to my daughters when they were younger, and he interprets my words completely differently.

Lets take a look:

Girls hear: Go to Mommys purse and pull out the wipes and bring them to her. Just the wipes.

Boys think: The best way to accomplish this task is obviously to dump the entire bag onto the floor, fling the unnecessary items across the room, pull out 10 wipes to scatter across the floor, and then hand Mom the rest (if she plays her cards right). Note to self: This also seems like a good strategy when picking a book at bedtime. If every book is not on the floor, Ive failed.

Girls hear: Lets make some pretty crafts!

Boys think: How much glitter is it possible to cram into my mouth?

Girls hear: Lets be soft with our friends.

Boys think: Wait until mom isnt looking.

Girls hear: Chairs are for sitting.

Boys think: Nice try, Mom. If thats your real name.

Girls hear: Lets build a Lego tower for our stuffed animals.

Boys think: Must. Destroy.

Girls hear: Its not appropriate to touch our private parts every minute of every single day.

Boys think: Challenge accepted.

But, I must admit, even with all that is lost in translation with my boy, Im loving all the sweet boyness that comes with having a son. Even though he does his share of boyish harm during the day, he also fills our home with boyish charm.

My heart swoons when he holds my hand or gives me kisses. For those precious moments, I forget that the baby gate is halfway ripped out of the wall and I can forgive the fact that we cant have luxuries like kitchen chairs right now. When he hands me a book with that proud smile, its hard to be upset that he also knocked out every single book in the process.

And at the end of the day, I simply snuggle him up on my lap, soak in his boyish charms and try to be grateful that he is finally, mercifully worn out.

Until tomorrow.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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