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When disaster strikes, families learn to grieve
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Twenty-eight American families are waiting to hear the fates of their loved ones who were on a cargo ship, El Faro, that went missing last week as Hurricane Joaquin made its way toward the East Coast, according to NBC News.

According to NBC, the ship, which first went missing around 7 a.m. last Thursday, was headed for San Juan, Puerto Rico, having come from Jacksonville, Florida. There were 28 Americans on board, along with five people of Polish descent.

Danielle Randolph, a 34-year-old woman from Rockland, Maine, is one of the missing Americans onboard, according to NBC. Her mother is desperately waiting for her.

"She is usually the only female aboard the ship, but even though she is a short little girl she can handle her own well," Laure Bobillot, mother of Randolph, said in a statement, according to NBC News. When she's home, she's all girlie girl. She's an avid Barbie doll collector and loves to dress up retro style, shop and bake. Ever since an extremely young age, she wanted to work on the ocean."

But this is hardly the first time families have grieved over national tragedies and disasters. Families and friends grieved after Malaysia Airlines Flight 17 crashed last year, too, according to CNN. Some families told memories of their children to CNN, while others talked about how their family members will still affect them.

"It feels like they're already one with me now," said Mika, a boy who missed the MH-17 flight that included his brothers. "I feel like they're going to watch over me forever.

And South Korean families continue to grieve even now after the Sewol ferry boat sank in the Yellow Sea last year, CNN reported. Though wreckage from the ferry has been recovered, nine people have yet to be found, according to CNN.

"We, the families of the missing victims, are still living the day April 16, 2014," said Park Eun-Mi, whose daughter, Huh Da-yun, was on the ferry. "I cannot think about anything except to find my daughter and other missing people."

Struggling with grief, especially in cases where family members have gone missing, can be tough. But there are ways a family can handle their grief and their childs grief.

For example, there are a number of grief therapists who aid families affected by grief after natural disasters or major events, according to Psychology Today. There are even treatment facilities that will offer therapeutic environments for families to handle their grief and find solutions for a better future for their family.

For children, some of the best lessons of handling grief come from the TV show Sesame Street, that has long offered lessons on the topic through its When Families Grieve lessons, which often help families who have lost someone because of military service. Other families can benefit from the lessons, too.

The death of a loved one is an experience that affects us all, the website reads. These When Families Grieve resources will always be here to provide support to families during this most difficult time.

Similarly, PBS suggests parents talk and share ideas about handling grief with their children, like explaining what happened that caused the grief, various feelings on the loss of a loved one and how to move on.

Its also important for parents and children to offer support with one another, according to PBS. Parents should try their best to help their children cope with any life changes that come their way, which sometimes includes creating a new normal, according to PBS.

This also helps create an environment for children where they feel safe talking about their grief, PBS reported.

As you move forward, you may find your family laughing and having fun together more often, PBS reported. Trust that the memories you and your child create and celebrate will go a long way toward building a sense of emotional resilience that can last a lifetime.

PBS has a number of printable activity books families can use for dealing with grief, many of which are connected to the Sesame Street program.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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