By allowing ads to appear on this site, you support the local businesses who, in turn, support great journalism.
Stop hating on other mothers
9b5ee86bee51f43eda5fe841f262840911a4236243dda0231e7fc1e67017cab2
We need to be encouraging and supporting other mothers, not slandering and slamming them for their mistakes. - photo by Carmen Rasmusen Herbert
We have all made mistakes as mothers.

I know I have many times. I am constantly seeking advice through books, my parents, my in-laws, my grandmothers, my sisters and especially on my knees.

I would be absolutely devastated if, instead of words of encouragement and support, I were to receive a chastisement or verbal attack for the mistakes I've made from people I love and trust.

A mother in Phoenix, Arizona, recently left her 2-month-old baby in his car seat in a shopping cart after grocery shopping with three of her four children.

"I'm a good mom who made a terrible mistake," Cherish Peterson said.

She noticed her terrifying mistake when her 3-year-old son asked where his baby brother was shortly after pulling up to their house.

"I got into my car, and normally I put my cart away," said Peterson. "But I didn't need to because I parked at the front of the store and I never park there. And I drove away."

Luckily, a police officer saw the baby in the cart and took him inside the store until Peterson was able to return for her child, 40 minutes later.

"It was still a long time," Peterson said. "I never took my kids out of the car, so it wasn't like I knew I left him. I thought the whole time he was in my car."

Peterson has since received a backlash of negativity online. I am appalled at the way people can bash someone who so innocently made a mistake a terrible mistake as to leave their brand-new baby in a store.

I think she's suffered enough. I think she has beat herself up enough, agonized enough and cried enough. I think what Cherish Peterson needs is an abundance of love and support, for her family and friends and community to rally around her and say, "You are a good mother. We all make mistakes, and luckily this one turned out OK."

I know weeks after giving birth, your hormones are all over the place. You are exhausted. You are running on little to no sleep, trying to keep up the house and care for your other children, as well as nurse a baby around the clock. I feel like I'm living in a fog most days, sometimes feeling like I don't even remember my own name. I have never left my child somewhere, but there have been plenty of times I've checked and double-checked because I can see how, especially with your fourth, that could happen.

No charges were originally filed, but now a misdemeanor charge of child endangerment has been forwarded to the town prosecutor.

In the case of drug or alcohol use, if there is a history of abuse or mistreatment, then I absolutely think justice should be served to protect our beautiful and innocent children.

But for a good mother who is honestly trying her best and simply had an exhausted lapse of judgement, I do not think slapping her with a misdemeanor charge will help.

"There is nothing I love more in this world than being a mom," Peterson said. "And there is no one in this world who could love my kids more than me."

I agree completely. Let's all try to forgive more, judge less.
Sign up for our E-Newsletters
How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
ce406c66b9871a104ac24256a687e4821d75680dcfc89d9e5398939543f7f88f
A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
Latest Obituaries