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Social media how-to: A parents' guide to Instagram
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Instagram - photo by Amy Iverson
The most popular social media network among adults is Facebook by far. But for teens, Snapchat wins by a sliver over Facebook-owned Instagram. I havent allowed my kids to download Snapchat, so I am starting this series of parents social media how-to columns with Instagram.

On an average day, people all over the world share a combined 80 million photos on Instagram. One reason teenagers flock to Instagram is its focus on photographs, instead of text-heavy Facebook and Twitter. When my twins turned 13 and I allowed them to enter the world of social media, they only wanted to join one. I was so grateful that I would only have a single social network to monitor, until I realized that Instagram is a difficult social media tiger to tame.

Here are some tips:

Make sure your child is old enough

Instagram is for people over the age of 13 and users are encouraged to report anyone younger than that who is on the site. Right in Instagram's terms of use, the very first basic term is that everyone must be at least 13 years old to use the service. If you notice kids on there who are under age 13, click the three dots next to their username and report it. Its totally anonymous.

Join Instagram

Let me begin by saying if your child is going to be on Instagram, then you should be on Instagram. This goes for all social media networks. Follow your children and as many of their friends as possible. This is important not only for monitoring purposes but also as a way to be part of their world. Be mindful, though, that you dont become one of those annoying parents who comments and likes every photo your child posts. Chat with your children about their preferences. My kids want me to like their photos for numbers sake but not to comment (too embarrassing).

Make it private

Instagram accounts are public by default. While many users like to get as many followers as possible for bragging rights, this is not the right option for kids. When helping your child set up a new account because you should always know their password be aware that their username, profile pic and bio will always be public. Talk with your children about what is appropriate to put in a bio since everyone in the world has the ability to see it at any time. Once you set up the account, immediately go to the profile and turn on the private account setting. Then your child will have to approve each person who requests to follow them. Especially in the beginning, every person who wants to follow your child should be their actual friend in real life. This way, you can at least have an idea of what types of things those users will post. On the flip side, your child should only follow people he or she actually know as well. Be wary of allowing them to follow celebrities. Everyone from Geraldo Rivera to Miley Cyrus has used Instagram to post very inappropriate photos. Check their followers every so often to make sure you know everyone on that list. If your child cant tell you who they are, get rid of them. Parents should know that anyone they dont have to be a follower can send a photo or video to your child directly. You may want to tell your child not to open those direct messages if its from someone they dont know.

Some things are nobodys business

There is always the chance that even someone your child knows will post photos that make your child or you uncomfortable. Know that if the account is set to private, then a user can remove a follower and that person will not be notified. Same goes for blocking someone. Users are not notified if you block them. When you block someone, they cannot view your posts or even search for your Instagram account. There is also no need for anyone to know exactly where you are at any given time. The "add to map" feature allows you to add locations to your photos. Luckily, Instagram has it turned off by default. Make sure you kids never turn it on.

Inappropriate photos happen

While Instagram rules say users may not post partially nude or suggestive photos, people still do it. One of my kids has looked up fitness videos on Instagram. This causes the network to believe they should suggest my child view every scantily clad photo or video of a person working out. I have gone through those suggestions over and over, asking Instagram to show fewer posts similar to those. I did it every night for a week and it did help cut down on those types of suggestions. If you need to do the same, click the three dots below the post you dont like, click "report inappropriate" and follow the instructions. It will ask you why the post is inappropriate. If the post doesnt follow community guidelines, Instagram will remove it.

Parental controls are not available

Instagram does not allow parents to filter content. The only way you can protect your child from seeing explicit photographs is to be careful about who they follow. But there is always the search function that can be a problem. Instagram makes it pretty difficult to search obvious terms like #porn, but there are many ways people have found to sneak past the guidelines. My previous column on the secret language of emojis will fill you in on the possibilities.

Instagram is a fun way to share photos and know what everyone is doing. Parents just need to be cautious and diligent to make sure this social media network experience is a good one.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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