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'Sit with Us' app shows kindness at its best
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A teenage girl from California created an app that allows students to designate themselves as ambassadors and post open lunch tables where other students can sit. - photo by Erin Stewart
All of us can remember that awkward moment of walking into a crowded cafeteria, wondering where youre going to sit and believing that everyone else in the room is looking at you and judging the new depths of teenage awkwardness youve discovered while holding your pink tray.

Thats why its so awesome that a 16-year-old girl from California has created an app aimed at reducing that terrifying teenage moment. Her app, "Sit With Us," also takes aim at bullying in general, encouraging students to reach out to others and make everyone feel welcomed in school. The app allows students to designate themselves as ambassadors and post open lunch tables where other students can sit without anyone else ever knowing they used the app to find a spot.

I love that this girl is getting attention for her idea because kindness is all too often a forgotten virtue in our schools. Sure, we encourage our kids to share and not hit and include others when they are young, but somehow the virtue of kindness gets edged out over the years. Little by little, the value of kindness is replaced by achievement, success and the drive to belong.

Our young people need more kindness. They need the kind of empathy and consideration this girl had when she created this app. And they need to be applauded for their kindness as much as they are applauded for sports victories and academic achievement.

Kindness is a quality we talk about often in our home. Every morning when my children jump out of my car and head into school, I leave them with the same thought: Be kind. Be brave. Be true. Be you.

Its an admonition theyve heard so often that they will say it to me if I forget. I say it because I want kindness to be the first thing that pops into their mind when faced with tough social situations in school. I want being kind to be so second nature that they dont even think about it.

I say the other reminders because kindness takes bravery. Its not easy to be nice to the girl everyone else has ganged up on at recess. Its not easy to stand up for someone or reach out to someone who may not even be nice to you.

Kindness also takes integrity. Thats why I remind my kids to be true. They know what is right, and they need to make their actions consistent with those beliefs.

I hope my children grow into young people like this girl who created the app. I hope they achieve mounds and mounds of personal success, too, of course. I just hope they realize that kindness never stood in anyones way. Kindness only creates bridges, not walls.

How do you teach kindness to your kids?
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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