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Quest for work-life balance comes down to time, trade-offs
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No Caption - photo by Greg Kratz
So much of life is a series of trade-offs.

In order to get more of one thing, you give up some of another. That's just the way it works.

The give-and-take in my life has had a direct impact on my desire to build balance, and it has changed significantly since I switched jobs a few months ago.

One example of that change comes down to time, as it so often does.

As I wrote in a previous column, the hours I spent in the office at my previous job were fairly regular and also relatively short. I usually started my drive to work at about 7:45 a.m., after dropping children off at school, and arrived at the office around 8:15 a.m. I'd stay until sometime between 4 and 5 p.m., often trying to leave closer to 4 to beat traffic. To make up for that short day, I'd check email and complete a little work after returning home each afternoon.

After more than three years on that schedule, I was in a rhythm. I arrived home before 5 p.m., had a quick snack to tide me over until dinner and then helped with chores, errands or homework.

That early arrival also meant I had plenty of time to read, watch television or otherwise unwind at the end of the day.

My schedule has changed dramatically since I made my most recent career switch.

The new job requires more hours in the office. For one thing, I'm managing a larger team almost 20 people so just juggling one-on-one meetings with them every other week takes a significant chunk of time.

I'm also working with another manager and a couple of other employees to start an entirely new project. Building something from scratch is exciting and one of the main reasons I opted to move to this new position. However, the creation process takes a lot of time and mental energy.

At the same time, my company is growing extremely quickly. To properly direct that growth, our leadership team meets often to plan for the future and decide how to execute those plans.

Finally, a rapidly growing company needs more workers, so I spend several hours each week in job interviews, trying to find candidates to help us meet our goals.

I guess you could say I'm busy. And that brings me back to time and trade-offs.

I still get to work at about 8:15 a.m., but now I usually stay at the office until 5:15 or 5:30 p.m., sometimes pushing closer to 6. That means I don't get home until 6 p.m. or later most days.

This has been a big change for me. While I'm only getting home an hour or hour-and-a-half later than before, it feels like there's much less of the day available to me when I do arrive.

If it sounds like I'm complaining, I'm not. My hours now are similar to those of most office workers, and I knew this job would require longer days in Cubeville than my last one did. I talked extensively with my wife and children about this before deciding to make the change, and we all agreed that the potential benefits of the new gig were worth the sacrifices.

Even better, I've found a way to reclaim some of that lost time.

At my last job, I commuted by car. The drive usually wasn't bad, taking about 25 minutes. But when the snow flew or an accident occurred, I would sometimes spend an hour or more heading either to or from work.

While this did give me an opportunity to listen to the radio and get in touch with the music my daughters like yes, I know Taylor Swift songs, and I like many of them it felt like wasted time.

That's changed with my new job. I'm working in downtown Salt Lake City again, which means it's easy for me to take the train to and from the office. I love having that half-hour at each end of the day to do things that I couldn't do while driving.

If it's been a long week, I might use my train time to take a little nap. Or I'll use that 30 minutes to finish up work, which allows me to leave the office earlier than I otherwise would without having to complete tasks at home.

I also now spend my commute catching up on social media, writing personal email, listening to tunes (the latest Imagine Dragons album is especially good), reading a novel (I just finished "To Kill a Mockingbird" for the first time don't judge) or even writing this column. I've done the latter a few times, and I've been surprised how easy it was to concentrate on writing while on the train, though I have noticed that people tend to look over my shoulder while I'm typing. (Yeah, buddy, I'm talking about you.)

And while I may not be around my family for as many hours each day, I think my wife and children would agree that I'm much less stressed when I haven't had to face a nasty commute. They're exchanging more time with a sometimes grouchy guy for slightly less time with a more relaxed guy. They seem to be OK with that.

Life really is all about trade-offs. The swaps I've made recently are working, and I hope you're having similar success in your work-life balance quest.

In fact, I'd be interested to hear your take on this. What give-and-take have you seen in your attempts to build better balance? What tips or suggestions would you give to others? What trade-offs have you tried that didn't work as well as you had hoped?

Please send me your ideas, and I'll try to share some of them in a future column.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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