By allowing ads to appear on this site, you support the local businesses who, in turn, support great journalism.
Potty training is for the birds
3fd5cf0cb62143755a327be8f8b70cb14ca1333db54418fe2ad5fa6f8899e8e1
Life just got really messy: I am currently potty training my 2-year-old. - photo by Carmen Rasmusen Herbert
Life just got really messy: I am currently potty training my 2-year-old.

I know everyone says, Boys arent ready to potty train until at least 3 years of age, but I decided to get a jump-start on things for three reasons.

1. I ran out of diapers. We have been low on toddler-sized nappies for a few weeks. And so when I noticed there was only two or three left I thought, why not? (Oh, the naiveness)

2. My 2-year-old has gone on the potty lots of times before, but mostly just before baths. So naturally, that means he knows exactly what hes doing. He also tells me when he has a messy diaper. Which may or may not mean anything, but I took it as a hint that hes ready.

3. I am sick of changing big boy messes. Newborn messes are one thing (and one color and one odor), but big boy messes? I have to wear a mask and hold my breath every time I change my toddlers diaper. Its like Forrest Gumps mama always said: Changing diapers is like a box of chocolates. You never know what flavor youre gonna get.

4. (I know I said three reasons, but this one seemed important.) Ive done it twice already, so naturally, the third time is the charm, right? Right?

Wrong.

OK, I cant be too hard on him. Or me. Day One actually went pretty well, with only two accidents (one being a mess). I was so thrilled with how well he was doing, we went to the grocery store and I let him pick out a pack of gum, which is his most favorite thing in the world. If there is gum anywhere, he will find it. It doesnt matter if its used or not.

But I quickly realized my great idea backfired after he chewed and by chewed I mean ingested half the pack while I was nursing the baby. (Side note: Why do all the most terrible messes happen when youre nursing, on the phone, frying something very hot, or in the bathroom? I just answered my own question.)

I was super upset and legitimately worried that he would now become terribly constipated, so I told him, in a very serious tone, that if he swallowed another piece I would have to take him to the doctor.

I normally dont resort to scare tactics, especially with my 2-year-old. But I was at my wits end, and had just read an article that talked about the dangers of gum (in very large amounts) backing up in childrens intestines.

My 2-year-old got very quiet. The doctor? he asked hesitantly.

Yes, I replied. He would have to do surgery.

He looked at me funny. Surgery is where they cut you open, I began. Suddenly, my 2-year-old's eyes became very wide, but dont worry, youd be asleep, I said hastily, really having no idea how they actually unclog intestines.

But, but that would hurt me! my 2-year-old said as he began to wail.

I felt awful. Why would I say such a thing? Its because I was sick and tired of being concerned with multiple peoples bowel movements.

Day Two was even rougher. It started off messy and ended messy. It seems we took one step forward and two (as in No. 2) steps back. It was on the floor, in the pants, on the hands, smeared across the potty, with very little actually making it into the potty. I was so frustrated.

I walked into the kitchen to start dinner after yet another accident, resolved to call it quits and go buy another pack of size 4 diapers. But then suddenly my little guy came up to me and said, Mommy! I go pee pee! Sure enough, he ran into the bathroom and actually made it all of it in the potty! I was beyond ecstatic. He did that a few more times before he ended the night with one more dump in the trunk.

I went upstairs after dinner and sat on the floor of my room, just staring off into the distance. I could her my little guy yelling for me downstairs. Carmen? (Hes started calling me by my first name.) Carmen! Can I have a pink cookie? (referring to the Swig sweets my blessed husband brought me after work).

I stayed still. Pretty soon, I heard a soft padding down the hall, and a chubby little body wearing nothing but a Monsters, Inc., Pull-Ups came and plopped down beside me.

Carmen?

Im Mommy, I said, although I must admit, the way he says my name sort of melts my heart.

Mommy, I have a cookie? A pink cookie, Mommy? Can I have one?

I stared down at my little man with the most big, sweet, innocent eyes and softened. I thought of a clip my friend posted on Facebook of her little man going through the same grueling process, carrying a pumpkin to bed, waddling down the hall with his brand-new big boy underwear.

And I thought, these sweet innocent babies still need us to praise them, help them, teach them and love them. They can barely construct complete sentences. I resolved then and there to try to not get so upset every time I found a stinky surprise in his underwear exactly five seconds after he sat on his Lightning McQueen potty for an hour, while gleefully unraveling the entire roll of toilet paper.

And to all you ladies up to your elbows in, well, you know. I salute you.
Sign up for our E-Newsletters
How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
ce406c66b9871a104ac24256a687e4821d75680dcfc89d9e5398939543f7f88f
A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
Latest Obituaries