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Marriage advice: don't follow celebrity examples
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Though it may seem like more marriages are failing than are succeeding, this is not true. The world needs more examples of strong and healthy marriages. - photo by Wendy Jessen
Magazine covers, news headlines and social media are full of celebrity "news" and gossip. It's difficult to avoid at least hearing bits and pieces from the lives of those we watch in televisions shows and movies, or that we listen to on the radio.

While we may be excited to hear that our favorite Hollywood stars get hitched or start a family, it can be disappointing to learn that these couples break up often soon after they get married. We may even begin to think that that is the norm that marriages are doomed to fail.

But though Hollywood may give up due to irreconcilable differences, or give in to temptations of infidelity, that does not mean you should quit so easily. Stop watching those trapped in the public eye for an example of marriage to aspire to. (Though, it is pretty unfair to have to live a life within the camera lens of the paparazzi, right?)

It seems that society would like us to think that everyone is better off cohabiting, frequently changing intimate partners and that marriage isn't important. According to a Family Studies article, "Though people especially those trying to avoid buying an engagement ring like to cite the statistic that half of marriages end in divorce, that hasnt actually been true for decades, if ever. If current trends continue, only about a third of marriages will end in divorce."

What that really means is that two-thirds of the people who get married, stay married!

What can you do to avoid becoming a divorce statistic?

  • Look for good examples of marriage and ask them how they make it work.
  • Don't lose hope when you see a seemingly strong marriage fail.
  • Work together with your spouse to maintain a healthy and happy marriage relationship.
  • Avoid infidelity including pornography, emotional relationships or any other relationship that can appear questionable to your spouse.
  • Make your spouse's happiness your number one priority. Selfishness has no place within a marriage.
  • Put your marriage first above your job, the kids, friends or other obligations or recreation-seeking.
  • Do not bad mouth your spouse to others. This will only worsen any problem you may be having.
  • Talk positively to and about your spouse.
  • Have regular date nights with your spouse.
  • Support each other's goals.
  • Rely on each other for strength.
  • Be your spouse's best friend.
  • Love, forgiveness and communication are huge!
  • Don't give up on your marriage easily. Just because you disagree or hit a rough patch does not mean your marriage is failing.
Though it may seem like more marriages are failing than are succeeding, this is not true. The world needs more examples of strong and healthy marriages. The world needs to see what happily married couples look like. Marriages last when couples don't give up on each other. So, ignore the gossip columns and negative marriage headlines, and strive to have the marriage you've always dreamed of.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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