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If you chose self-pity, this article is not for you
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Happiness is not something you buy; it is something you must create. One step in achieving happiness? Think positive. - photo by Megan Shauri
Ive had a lot of trials in my life; in fact, I am still experiencing trials even at this very moment. But, one thing that has helped me get through them is positive thinking.

It is easy to fall into the victim trap. To feel justified in thinking you are okay to be angry, upset, and mad, because what is happening to you is not fair. It probably IS not fair. But, what is better: wallowing in self-pity or being happy?

If you chose self-pity, this article is not for you. However, if you choose happiness, here are 5 ways to let positive thinking change your life:

1. Find the good in everything

If you are faced with a bad situation, perhaps a job you hate, try to find the good in it. You may hate what you do, not get along with your co-workers, or have to work way more hours than you want, but you are working.

You do not have to worry about paying rent this month. You can afford to drive your car. You have mastered a skill. You got 100% on your end of month survey.

Whatever it may be, find it. Hold on to it, and remember it. The more you do this, the more good you will find. Soon your mind will start picking out the good things instead of the bad. This will not mean that you all of a sudden love your job, but at least you can see how it is helping you progress.

2. Make a tough situation humorous

It can be hard to turn something awful into something funny. When someone is yelling at you, you probably dont find it funny. But think (to yourself) about how irrational they are being. When you start imagining their face turning bright red and steam coming out of their ears, it can actually be quite funny.

Laughter can help diffuse a situation, or at least help you feel better about what is happening to you. Humor is a powerful tool; use it to your advantage.

3. Set goals for yourself

Are you working towards something? If not, pick something now that you want to do. Whether it is traveling, buying a house, having children, or finishing your education.

When you get discouraged in life, think about those goals. Use them to help motivate you. For example, think: only this many more hours of working before you have enough money to buy your house. Or 12 more days, and you leave on vacation.

Even little goals can help motivate you to finish your day. It is easy to think you will never reach your goals, but stay positive. Youve made it through another day. You are one step (no matter how small) closer to getting to your goal.

If your goal seems unattainable to you, set a different goal. You should have goals that are both attainable in the near future, and something to work on long-term.

4. Make a list of things you are thankful for

This may seem juvenile, or even something you only do at Thanksgiving, but it works. When you start listing all of the things you are thankful for, with a sincere attitude, you start to realize how fortunate you are.

Even something as small as having internet access in your home, to something as big as having drinkable water available with just the turn of a nob, are great things to consider. Yes, you pay for these things, but that is another thing to be thankful for- money to live.

You will start seeing how everything interconnects with each other, and soon your problem may not seem quite so large.

5. Never end a conversation on a down note

Do you know people who are always negative? People that like to point out the bad in a situation and how awful life is?

It is easy to fall into the pattern of finding the negative in everything, but this is not an enjoyable way to live life. Instead of letting them bring you down, decide to bring them up. Sometimes you are speaking with normally positive people, but the subject is negative.

No matter who or what you are talking about, try to end the conversation on a positive note. Pull something from the story, anything that you can learn from, or that was good, and reiterate that. Dont let that negative energy stay with you throughout the day.

Ultimately it is up to you to decide to be happy. Unless you choose to change your mindset, you will remain miserable. You can continue to blame others, be the victim, and let darkness fill your life, or you can rise above it. It is a mental change.

No matter the situation you are in, if you decide you will be happy, then you will be. In life, there is always something to learn, always ways we can grow, and there are always trials and tribulations. We can use those challenging situations to become better people and to stay positive.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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