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How to talk to your kids about the election results
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Casey and Lisa Child, of South Jordan, outfit their children, Devin, 4, and Heidi, 2, with glow sticks and light-up American flags at an election night party for independent presidential candidate Evan McMullin at The Depot in Salt Lake City on Tuesday, Nov. 8, 2016. - photo by Erin Stewart
My 6-year-old daughter came home from school the day after the election and told me that a girl in her class was moving away from America because Donald Trump was elected. My daughter was quite distressed about this and didnt understand when I told her I knew this family and that this was just a joke. Apparently, her friend didnt get it either because she was ready to pack her bags and hit the road.

This election has been caustic, and little ears have probably heard lots of feelings, words and jokes they dont quite understand. They have also probably felt the tension, anger, sadness, hope, disappointment, excitement and all the other emotions that have gone up and down throughout this election cycle.

So, how can we talk to our kids about the election in way they can understand?

1. Focus on family values. In the days after the election, I reminded my children that the outcome of the election will have an impact on America, but it doesnt change our family. We will continue to have the same moral code. We will show kindness. We will stand up for what we believe. We will stand up for others rights to their beliefs.

2. Tell them how it works. Show your children electoral maps and election results so they know what we are talking about. Discuss what the president actually does, and how the system of checks and balances works. Tell them about the candidates but stick to facts rather than rumor.

3. Highlight the positive. My girls and I talked before election night about how historic it would be if a woman won the presidency. We talked about how far women have come, and how awesome it is that the world is realizing women can do anything we set our minds to accomplish. So, when Secretary Hillary Clinton didnt win, I chose to focus on the positive sides of the progress she made for women. In fact, Clinton said it best: To all the little girls who are watching this, never doubt that you are valuable and powerful and deserving of every chance and opportunity in the world to pursue and achieve your own dreams.

4. Make it clear all feelings are valid. In the weeks and months after this election, there are going to be lots of feelings. People are scared. People are hurt. Other people dont quite understand these feelings. Thats OK. In our family, we have a mantra we say often: Every emotion is OK. We dont get to act on every emotion, but we are entitled to have and explore our feelings. Just because you dont understand someones emotion, doesnt make it invalid.

Remind your children that we need more listeners and less talkers. We need more people who are truly trying to understand the opposing view, not just waiting for their turn at rebuttal. Let people feel what they feel. Emotions cant be fixed with logic, news articles or social media links. Just be there with an embrace and a listening ear, rather than your side of the story.

5. Bullying is never OK. Ive seen a lot of bullying in this election from both sides. Even now after the results, there are reports of minorities being harassed and of Trump supporters being called bigots simply because of their votes. Both types of bullying are wrong. I reminded my daughters that everyone is entitled to feel safe and respected, even if we disagree with their opinions.

6. Love. Perhaps the most important thing we can do in the wake of a bitter election with lots of bitter feelings on both sides is simply show more love. Dont just post about it. Do something about it. Find a service project or invite your neighbors over to get to know them better. Visit a friend, wave when someone lets you cut in on the highway, pay for the persons meal behind you in the drive-thru. On a smaller scale, speak kind words. Be more patient. Forgive. Be a good human.

Instead of joking to your children that youre moving to Canada, tell them that youre going to make a difference right here because this is where your love is needed the most.

No matter whom you chose in the voting booth, choose love now.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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