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Did you marry out of your league? Turns out you're not alone
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The idea that there are simply people too far above you, either in their looks or in their smarts, to date has been a staple of romantic comedies since the genre was first invented. - photo by JJ Feinauer
The idea that there are simply people too far above you to date either in their looks or in their smarts has been a staple of romantic comedies since the genre was first invented.

In Edmond Rostands classic play, Cyrano de Bergerac, for example, a talented poet is so self-conscious about the size of his nose that he worries the woman he loves may never love him back. He develops elaborate plots to woo his love without revealing his embarrassing proboscis. Their souls are perfect, but, alas, their looks are unequal.

But according to a new study, Rostands protagonist may have had nothing to fear.

There is no out of your league, the study purports. At least not when we consider one specific element of a relationship: Time.

Time, according to the findings of Lucy L. Hunt, Paul W. Eastwick and Eli J. Finkel, has a funny way of helping people fall in love. While those who married after knowing each other for only a short amount of time were found to be more assortative, those who were friends with their spouse well before they got married were more likely to marry someone considered out of their league, so to speak.

In other words, time really can make a person more attractive, Fusions Taryn Hillin wrote in response to the study. That conclusion seems fairly logical, but its pretty interesting how often this concept appears to play out in the real world.

So what does that mean for those looking for love? According to some, such as Mics Nicolas DiDomizio, it means that in the long run, hotness isnt everything.

Anyone who's been on a Tinder date with someone with a super hot profile photo, only to realize they are the literal worst in person, knows this all too well, DiDomizio wrote.

However, there is one important caveat. As The Huffington Posts Leigh Wengus wrote, the time trick only works if the two of you are legitimately compatible. Time, in other words, can be a medicine, not a magic wand.

Its still a gamble, Hunt, who is the lead author of the study, told Wengus. Getting to know someone over time can either improve that person's impression of you or worsen it.

Still, the power of time in helping to cultivate strong and lasting relationships cannot be overstated. According to The New York Times report on the study, 33 percent of men and 43 percent of women answered yes when asked if they had ever fallen in love with someone they did not initially find attractive.

The key factors in changing their minds, according to the Times, were things like great conversations, common interests and sense of humor.

So in the end, its not the league that matters, but the ability to connect on a level beyond first impressions.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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