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9 areas to help plan the autumn of life
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We find that the easiest, simplest, least scary and best way to start planning the autumn of your life is simply to set up some folders in which to collect information and ideas. - photo by Linda and Richard Eyre
We have said it in this column before: 65 is the new 45. Baby boomers now in their 50s or 60s likely have 20 to 40 more good years, and planning what to do with those years that no other generation has had is an important thing to think about.

In our personal experience, and with all the boomers we have worked with, we find that the easiest, simplest, least scary and best way to start is simply to set up some folders. Folders are just places you keep track of things that matter to you or that you think will someday matter. You might think of these as the traditional, manila, old-school file folders. Or you might think of them as new folders in the email or document section of your computer. You dont have to have anything at all in them for now. Just establish and label them.

The idea is to have a folder for each of the things that are going to matter most to you over the next 20 or 30 years so that they become a place to collect ideas and to keep track of where you are going and how you are getting there.

Here are nine folders to consider starting as we start to plan the autumn of our lives.

Possibilities folder: This folder may have a section for your bucket list, but it will also be a place where you keep track of the options you have for this autumn of life. It is thinking about options and possibilities that makes us into more creative people. And creativity matters.

Character folder: Accomplishments can be wonderful, particularly when they involve good motives or causes, but what matters even more is what we become during the pursuit of our achievements. And as we try to give direction and advice to our children and whomever we may lead or advise, it is important to remember that, often, what we are speaks so loudly that they cannot hear what we say.

Health folder: Your health folder can be the place you collect your best insights about your own unique body and how to prime and preserve it over time. In this autumn season, we realize that it is not the doctor who is in charge of our body or who is the expert on our body we are. This is the folder for test results, baselines, ideas for exercise and diet, and anything else that will contribute to the goal of keeping your body and mind functioning at the highest possible level for the longest possible time.

Wealth folder: You dont have to be vastly wealthy to create and live your autumn life, but it does take adequate and well-calculated resources. Besides your current balance sheet and income statement, this folder will gradually accumulate some simple wisdom and principles that will help you be sure that you always have enough and that will help you to know what enough is.

Faith folder: Most people report that they experience an increasing amount of faith and belief in spiritual things as they get older. This will become a folder containing questions and doubts as well as insights and positive feelings, and it will help you remember that faith in higher powers, or lack of it, is essentially a decision you make.

Family and relationship folder: Most of us spend our lives planning and scheming and working to accomplish things, and we put nowhere near as much creative energy and effort into our relationships with and the needs of those we love most. This will become a folder of ideas and ways of maximizing our most important relationships. One of the blessings of advancing age is that our values, interests and priorities slide along the scale from things to people, from accomplishments to relationships.

Grandkids folder: We can influence the generation of our grandkids more than we realize. We can communicate with them in ways that their parents cant. Find and deposit ideas in this folder that will help you create a lifelong relationship with your grandchildren, whether you have one grandchild or 40.

Service and legacy folder: We have the power during the autumn of our lives to design, develop and deliver the legacy we want to leave and be remembered for. What would you like to change in your world or in your kids world? What do you have the power to make a little bit better?

Personal history folder: This file is a place to collect memories you may someday want to share with some of the people who are the most important on the Earth to you your family and your friends.

Once these nine folders are set up, its surprising how often we think of or come across something to put into one of them.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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