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7 steps to go back to the woman that your husband fell in love with
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Have you changed since you said "I do?" Here's how to go back to who you were without losing who you've come to be. - photo by Megan Shauri
Relationships are great. When you have someone you can share your deepest desires with, a best friend to spend curled up watching a movie with and someone to hold your hand when youre scared, it is the best feeling in the world. But sometimes we take those relationships for granted. We get too comfortable. We forget that at one time we treated them with the most respect of anybody. Sometimes we need to remember to be the woman your husband fell in love with. Heres how we can do that:

1. Put in the same effort

When you were single and on the hunt, how much time and effort did you put into your appearance? You probably never left the house without make-up on or while wearing anything resembling yoga pants. Think about how much effort you put into yourself now. You are most likely the last one on your list of people to focus on. While life has changed for you, and its not the end of the world if you go weeks without straightening your hair, it can definitely kill some of the romance in your marriage.

Take time for yourself. Get pampered once in a while. Put effort into your appearance. Not only will it remind your husband of the beautiful woman he fell in love with, but it will show him how much more beautiful you are now. It will also make you feel better about yourself. Looks arent everything, but when youre put together it can boost your confidence.

2. Talk to him

When youre dating it seems all you do is talk to each other. You tell stories about your past, talk about your goals and dreams, and get to know each other. After years of marriage you may feel youve already heard all the stories and know everything there is to know. Sometimes you are so busy all you have time for is a quick update about the kids, work, and what needs to get done. If this is you, make sure you make time to have a real conversation. Talk. Share. These moments are what unite you. They are what remind you of what you love about your spouse. Your real feelings, your dreams that others may laugh at and your quirks that only they understand are what drew you to each other in the first place.

3. Go on dates

Between life, kids and work, going on a date with your spouse may be a thing of the past. It may seem ridiculous to try and squeeze a date between all you have going on in your life, but if you really want to be the person your husband fell in love with, this is vital. Spending time just the two of you strengthens your relationship. Dating reminds you of the reasons you fell in love with each other. It proves you still have things in common. It confirms that even after the kids leave the house and you both retire, you still will get along.

4. Spend time on your husband

New relationships have a certain excitement about them. It is fun discovering things about the other person. You used to really focus on your partner; who they are, what they like and what they want in a future spouse. When we were dating, we wanted to be the person they deserved to be with. We were on our best behavior, did things they liked to do, and found ways to make them happy. After weve been married a few years, things may get a little too comfortable. We may forget our manners and not be so concerned with what makes him happy. Fix this. Spend some time on him. Not because you have to, but because you want to. Remember how happy it made you to make them happy. Dont forget that.

5. Dont forget about you

Who you were then was obviously attractive to your husband. What you did with your free time, your hobbies, how you looked, how you acted these were things that got your mans attention. Sometimes it is easy to get lost. We can give ourselves over to our family, job = and other distractions. Dont lose who you are. If you gave up cycling because you didnt have the time, make time. If you stopped volunteering at the humane society because you moved away, find a new one to go to. Dont lose what youre passionate about. That is still something your husband will find attractive.

6. Step back in time

If you really want to return to those days when you were dating, do it. Look at pictures and videos, talk about what you used to do and remember. Take a look at how far youve come together and all that youve accomplished as a couple. It is good to reminisce, but also to note that change is good. We cant all stay the same forever, but if we change and grow together, it can make for a very beautiful relationship.

Sometimes we just need a reminder that we are in a relationship. Relationships are hard and take constant work. By taking a look at your past and remembering how you were when you were first dating, it helps to remind you of this. It reminds you of who you were when your husband fell in love with you and will help rekindle the flame.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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