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7 reasons why our marriage works -- and how to make yours work too
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No Caption - photo by Gary and Joy Lundberg
After decades of marriage, weve figured out a few things. Here are seven actions that have helped make our marriage work.

1. Put a sock in it.

Not in your mates mouth in your own. When youre annoyed by your spouse, dont automatically spout off with, How many times do I have to tell you to ... ? Give things a chance to cool down. Mostly you will find that ignoring a few unimportant things pays off. Youve heard the saying, Dont make a mountain out of a mole hill. It applies to a lot of silly situations in marriage. There is nothing to be gained by making a big deal out of something that is simply not worth the fight. Ask yourself, will this even matter tomorrow? Most things wont.

2. Buck up and take the blame.

When youve done something stupid or unkind, apologize for it. Be responsible for your mistakes and step forward in a better direction. Only when people acknowledge their part in a problem can change happen. Along with this, be forgiving when your mate apologizes. Holding a grudge in marriage is a catastrophe waiting to happen. Dont let ill feelings build up. Apologize and forgive. Then hug.

3. Kiss like theres no tomorrow.

Savor those kisses. Keep them coming, daily -- several times a day. Never be too busy to greet each other with a kiss, one that is filled with honeymoon-type passion. This will stoke your romantic fires and keep your hearts warm for all the years of your lives, especially when the words I love you are spoken along with those kisses.

4. Work like the devil to stay out of debt.

Too much debt is an enemy to marriage. Any debt is a burden. Some experts say there are two purchases that warrant their monthly payments a house and a car. When you do stick your neck out for these items, make sure to keep it within your budget. Think, what would we do if we lost our jobs? That will help you be wiser in your purchases. Pay these debts off as quickly as possible. For other things you think you cant live without, save up. Paying cash will save you a ton of interest and make it possible for you to have more of the things your really want and need.

5. Get giddy over making your spouse happy.

Think of things you can do that will put a big smile on your honeys face. You know what she or he likes, so make it happen often. It doesnt have to be much. Making the bed in the morning, going for a walk together, getting excited over your mates promotion, snuggling the kiddies, helping with their care, noticing how cute your wife looks and telling her, or how handsome he looks and telling him. We all love compliments, especially from the ones we love most. Do everything in your power to help your mate feel those happy feelings.

6. Be an elephant when it comes to remembering important dates.

Its simple nowadays. All you have to do is program it into your smart phone or computer. Easy peasy. Just do it. Always remember your wedding anniversary and your mates birthday. Those are a must. Think about ways to spoil your spouse, even if it's just with one rose, or one package of BBQ ribs. Do something to make the day special for her or him. Make it as nice as your wallet can handle. Think about it beforehand, even plan together in advance for a special date. Looking forward can be as fun as the actual happening.

7. Kick the word divorce out of your vocabulary.

When it comes to your relationship, that word is an absolute no-no. You dont even use it in jest. Make the decision together that your marriage is going to last. Be committed both of you verbally to each other. Then stand by that commitment all the days of your life. And not only stand by it, but make it happen by showing respect, loyalty and love for each other in all you do. Then the lasting will be joyful.

This is not an all-inclusive list. So many more things can be a blessing to your marriage. Take a minute and list a few of the ones that have helped strengthen your marriage. Then express appreciation to your spouse for doing his or her part in helping your marriage blossom into the beautiful relationship it is becoming.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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