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6 tips on spotting men who are secretly selfish
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Need help to spot someone whos secretly selfish? These six tips will do just the trick. - photo by Georgia Lee
Secret selfishness is a spot some smitten woman can find themselves in when they think they've found Mr. Right. But there are some nifty ways to spot hidden selfishness in what looks like typical behaviors.

If you see these six types of men take a good, hard look before committing, or youll find yourself in a long stalemate with selfishness:

1. The saver

Being frugal and money-minded may be a smart move in todays economy, but that doesnt mean you should settle for clearance items and seasonal sales in your love life.

If the guy youre fawning over refuses to romance you in a way that makes you feel special, opting instead to find the quickest and cheapest route to your heart, youre dealing with a penny pincher whose grip is only going to get tighter.

2. The spender

Be it an heir, mogul or playboy, when a man flashes his cash to get what he wants, you can bet that dangling carrot comes with some strings attached.

This big shot throws his weight around in $100 bills and expects others to fall in line, even if it doesnt appear so in the beginning. At some point he is going to expect to reap what he has sown and is used to people answering his every whim with a resounding yes!

On another note, pay attention to how the spender, or any man for that matter, treats those around him. If he is rude or demanding to service industry workers, especially waiters and room attendants, he is undeniably selfish, no matter how he treats you.

3. The scholar

If your man is a classic brainiac that doesnt always mean you have a selfish situation brewing. But pay attention to how he uses all that brain power.

If he spends his time studying instead of experiencing, theorizing instead of acting, and analyzing instead of feeling, you have a single-minded fellow on your hands who will no doubt leave you and your emotions high and dry for more satisfying pursuits; like more knowledge.

This man is selfish with his time, affection, emotions and more.

4. The free spirit

Somewhat opposite of the scholar is the enlightened free spirit who considers himself wise, at peace and in the flow. He may or may not be educated, but at the very least he is disorganized and inconsiderate with your time. He lives life by his own schedule, which is usually none, and doesnt think about how your life calls for precision or details at times.

Hes constantly late, breaks plans, or changes plans without notice. And hell do it with a sweet smile, expecting you to be pleased instead or at least unruffled.

5. The nice guy

Dont be fooled by the nice guys calm demeanor and charm; there is more than meets the eye.

This guy is always at the short end of the stick and doesnt know why. He is perfect, and his relationship troubles are everyone elses fault.

For some reason, he just cant find the right girl and doesnt understand why hes the wrong guy. But this one can be hard to spot, unless you know what to look for. The nice guy goes down one of two roads: Mr. Picky or Mr. Fix-her-upper.

If a nice guy who treats a woman well cant seem to snag one for long, its because he is incredibly picky. He will either reject many prospects because they are not perfect, or he will advise, criticize or needle someone into being who he wants her to be.

In either case, he is really only thinking about what he wants to get out of the relationship and not what his mate needs in the relationship.

6. The extreme athlete

Call them jocks, meat-heads, juicers or what have you, workouts and practices will always come before you. If he does manage to pull himself away from the gym, you better be prepared to make up for what he missed. Plus, no athlete is without his fans, so be prepared to share his attention.

Selfishness is not always something that can be seen on the surface. It has many root causes, but generally only one outcome: your unhappiness.

Remember, a generous person gives of love to see others happy, and more importantly, gives freely. Even when he gives big, a selfish person will give when he expects something in return. When giving to receive something back, be it time, attention, intimacy, etc., he is always thinking of how much he can hold back while you come forward. Or how little he can give compared to how much he can get.

Selfishness is not always something that can be seen on the surface. But these six tips will help you spot selfish men quickly so you can keep moving.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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