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5 things I'm grateful for as a mother
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This year, Ive been thinking a lot about the things I am grateful for as a mother that help me tackle motherhood with a little bit of grace and a little less exhaustion. - photo by Erin Stewart
Thanksgiving is the perfect time to reflect on how grateful we are for what we have before we get online on Cyber Monday to buy the new things we need to make us happy next year.

The Black Friday/Thanksgiving juxtaposition is a funny one to me, though I openly admit I will be getting online for some Christmas shopping before the turkey is cold. But I do try to take little moments throughout November to focus on my many blessings.

This year, Ive been thinking a lot about the things I am grateful for as a mother that make my life easier on a day-to-day basis. Of course Im thankful for the big things like my health, my children and a warm place to sleep at night, but Im talking about the little things that help me tackle motherhood with a little bit of grace and a little less exhaustion.

1. Drive-thrus: Seriously, anything where I dont have to get out of my car is heaven-sent. When its cold and Ive already lugged the car seat out 10 times, I am beyond grateful for a drive-thru pharmacy, restaurant, bank, anything. And dont even get me started on grocery stores that offer curbside pickup. It is a game changer, folks.

2. Reliable, low-maintenance friends: I consider myself a loyal friend, one who will drop everything at 2 a.m. and be there no matter what. But when there are no emergencies and life is just going along, nothing beats a low-drama friend who doesnt need to be checked on and doesnt need to be constantly reminded that you are indeed still friends. These are the kind of friends who are up for a girls' night when you need it but dont need you to text them every day to maintain your BFF status. Thank you to the friends who make me laugh, support me when I cry, and can pick up after weeks apart as if no time at all has passed.

3. PTA moms: Alas, I am not and will likely never be the kind of mom who signs up to run the fundraiser or volunteers to make meals for all the teachers on conference nights. So I am so grateful that there are mothers out there who are. Im in awe of these women who find time to organize class parties, book fairs and clubs. If youre one of these moms, thank you for enriching my childrens lives and for keeping my principal husband well-fed.

4. A supportive husband: Speaking of my husband, I couldnt be the mother I am without him. He asks little of me but is always there supporting my dreams, even if it means tightening our budgets or him pitching in more than he probably should. I always breathe a sigh of relief when he walks through the door.

5. The gift of not judging: This is perhaps the thing I am most grateful for this year because it has been a work in progress since I became a mother nine years ago. Maybe its because my kids are older or because my idealized view of motherhood was unsustainable, but I finally feel like I have been able to let go of the self-judgment and standards that used to weigh me down. I do my best to keep a happy home while also pursuing some of my own goals, but when I fall short, its OK. I dont cook fancy dinners. I hire house cleaners once a month because Id rather write than clean. And if you see me out, Im likely in the same sweatshirt that I wore yesterday (and maybe the day before that). This year, Im so grateful that I feel like Im good with who I am, even with all my shortcomings.

Theres no doubt I feel that way because I am blessed beyond measure to have friends and family who take me however I am. So this year, more than anything, Im grateful for all the people in my life who make me feel that who I am right now, with all my flaws is enough.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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