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5 surprising reasons why adult siblings should get along
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Having a healthy relationship with your siblings will bring a huge measure of happiness into your life as well as your parents. - photo by Gary and Joy Lundberg
To have the happiest possible family life adult siblings need to get along. Here are a few reasons why these relationships are vitally important.

1. It will be one of the best gifts you can give your parents.

Every parent wants their children to love each other and get along. Nothing brings heartache quite like adult children who dont want to be around their siblings. We can understand bickering among young siblings, but growing up and gaining some maturity should bring most of that to an end. If there is rivalry and feelings of jealousy, its good to sit down with each other and talk about it.

An adult woman told us how she was certain her parents loved her younger brother more, consequently causing her to have bad feelings toward him and her parents. When we talked with the parents about this, without the children being present, they were surprised. They had tried to be fair with their children. As it turned out the younger brother was gifted musically and the parents would praise him for his talent. His older sister's talents were less noticeable. However, the parents assured us they worked at doing their best to give their daughter equal opportunity to discover her talents and praised her often. Siblings usually arent aware of all the parents do to help each child feel valued. The childrens perceptions can be skewed and invalid.

Solution: Take your parents praise as adults and dont compare yourself with your siblings. Be mature and wise enough to find joy in your sibling's accomplishments.

2. When your parents are elderly and need care, you wont be alone.

We have witnessed in our own lives how valuable it has been to have the help of siblings in caring for aging parents. You can discuss the hard questions and decide together whats best for parents who may be losing their ability to care for themselves. Taking turns being there for your parents is a blessing. When one child has to do it alone, it can be burdensome. When two or more are sharing the responsibility, it can be more pleasant for everyone. Parents need to feel that their children care about them and find a measure of happiness in helping them. Thats hard to portray if youre the only one helping.

Solution: Talk about it together. Even if a sibling lives far away, talk about ways each can contribute to the care in a way that works for all concerned. The day will come when your parents are gone, and the peace you feel from caring for them will be a sweet memory.

3. You never know when you will need each other.

Your parents will not always be with you. After they have left this life, your needs for parental concern and love do not stop. Sometimes you may say, "If only I could talk this over with Dad or Mom." Thats when you find that having a sibling who cares is a great blessing. You will need each other more than you might imagine. If relationships have not been nurtured through the years it may be difficult to rely on each other during this time. A friend expressed it this way: My own sister had surgery and needed someone there with her for a few days. Our mother would have been the one, had she still been alive. Because of the love I feel for my sister, I wanted to be there for her like Mom would have been. So I flew out and stayed with her for a week until she was feeling better. It meant everything to her and to me.

Solution: Keep in touch with each other and sincerely care about whats going on in your siblings life.

4. Your children need a good relationship with their aunts and uncles.

Your siblings can bring a lot of joy into your family. It will be difficult for your children to fully enjoy their aunts and uncles if they sense friction. Dont ruin what can be a beautiful relationship between your children and your siblings. Having aunts, uncles and cousins who care is significantly important to children, no matter the age.

Solution: Plan events where you and your children can be with your siblings and their children. Let them feel the security being loved by these dear relatives can bring. They may be the very ones who help your child through a difficult time when you simply can't handle it.

5. It will bring peace into your life.

An older man told how much he valued the loving friendship he had with his two elder brothers. They spoke almost weekly on the phone, sharing in each other's struggles and accomplishments. They were not always this close, but at one point he decided to deepen the relationship by initiating the calls. The brothers welcomed these conversations. He was near his brothers when each passed away from terminal illnesses. It brought a sweet peacefulness into his life that he may have missed had he not started the calls.

Solution: Call your siblings. Be interested in what theyre doing. Chances are, as their children grow and have their own families, they feel lonely at times and could use a good listening ear from someone who genuinely cares.

Regarding sibling relationships, Clara Ortega sums it up well: "To the outside world, we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time."
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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