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4 states have paid parental leave, but employees aren't using it
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More states than ever have mandated paid family leave, but a lot of employees still aren't taking it. There's a cultural shift that has to take place before it will become common practice. - photo by Sam Turner
Research shows that paid parental leave can have significant benefits for all parties involved. So why aren't more people using it?

According to Business Insider, offering paid leave increases employee morale and retention, makes healthier babies, and reduces burden on the state. In New Jersey, women who received paid maternity leave were 39 percent less likely to receive public assistance and 40 percent less likely to receive food stamps.

With Rhode Island's legislation in 2013, the number of states to legislate some paid parental leave now totals four.

Rhode Island, along with the other states California, New Jersey and Washington offer leave in case of serious medical conditions, to care for an ill family member, or for mothers and fathers to bond with a new child. The states offer between four and six weeks of leave at a partial pay rate, varying from 55 percent to 66 percent and bearing a weekly maximum. The program is actually paid for by employees in the form of a payroll tax.

In addition, many companies are choosing to offer paid family leave on their own. Tech giants like Facebook, Google and Netflix have recently added or expanded their paternal leave policies. According to Business Insider, 12 percent of American companies offer some form of paid parental leave.

But having access to paid leave doesn't mean people are using it, says a study reported in Forbes.

California was the first state to legislate paid parental leave, requiring that employers provide six weeks at 55 percent salary. But only 25 percent to 40 percent of eligible mothers use their leave, shows a study from the Center for Poverty Research.

There are many possible reasons why people are not taking leave, but experts have identified three main ones.

People are afraid to lose their jobs

This seems counterintuitive to the spirit of parental leave, but discrepancies between state and federal government law means choosing between paid leave and unemployment for some.

Forbes notes that all California employees are eligible for paid leave, but only some are guaranteed job protection through the Family Medical Leave Act.

The FMLA insures job security for up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave for childbirth and other medical situations; however, only people who work at least 1,250 hours per year at businesses with at least 50 employees are covered by this law.

This means that many people who work part-time or work for small businesses (over half of Americans work for small businesses) may risk losing their job by accepting paid leave.

Negative career outcomes

Even if your job is protected by the FMLA, many Americans feel that taking time off for a baby will hurt their chances for advancement and pay raises.

After the FMLA was passed in 1993, women became 5 percent more likely to keep their job, but 8 percent less likely to be promoted, reports the New York Times.

Men who request parental leave are punished during performance reviews and women are seen as less committed to the job, says the New York Times.

But this effect can be worse where there are no family friendly laws like the FMLA, reports the Atlantic.

A study by Shelley Correll of Stanford University shows that the absence of family leave laws causes employers to view women who take leave as less competent, less committed and less promotable. Additionally, they were offered smaller raises than women with no children.

Workers may also feel pressure to limit parental leave to avoid laying an additional burden on their co-workers. Regardless of policy, office culture can get new parents back to work faster than they would like.

Lack of awareness

A lot of people don't take parental leave simply because they are unaware of their rights.

In California, 12 years after the state enacted its Paid Parental Leave program, only 36 percent of people knew anything about the program, reports paidfamilyleave.org.

Only 21 percent of Californians age 18-29 were aware of the law, meaning the demographic most likely to need paid parental leave is also the least aware. Other groups with a low level of awareness included Latinos, less-educated persons and lower-income persons.

According to paidfamilyleave.org, California authorized $6.5 million in supplemental funding to raise awareness about the Paid Family Leave program between 2014 and 2016.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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