By allowing ads to appear on this site, you support the local businesses who, in turn, support great journalism.
3 ways to help your kids develop empathy
9eb06f6341efdea941214757c3b4bbd964a0a3e5494b080591f78f5022e96b33
Does the world revolve around your child? Do they fail to care about others? Here's how you can change that. - photo by Wendy Jessen
Parents hope they can raise compassionate and empathetic children. Sometimes that is easier said than done.

What makes empathy hard? According to a Family Studies article, "When we are immature, we treat other people as if they are not especially real. Their feelings and desires do not matter to us as much as the feelings and desires of the person they were unkind or disrespectful towards. We fail to see the world through their eyes, to understand how it is for them, and to connect with them where they are."

Instead, we basically see the world as revolving around ourselves. We get frustrated with people who are not doing what we want them to, who hurt us, or sometimes, we are more apathetic to those around uswe simply do not care about others.

It sounds harsh, doesn't it? Since we don't want to be that type of person and we certainly don't want out children to become that type of person, we must learn and teach our kids how to have empathy.

Here are 3 ways to help your kids develop empathy:

1. Model empathy

Of course, life does not come without frustrations, annoyances or inconveniences. We can combat our natural reaction to lash out with anger or blame by having empathy.

Using phrases like, "He must be having a hard day," "Perhaps she's really stressed out today," or "Maybe he just found out some bad news," can help you try to see the world through someone else's eyes.

Allow your children to hear you ask these questions, especially when they witness the frustrating behavior. This will help you and them react with empathy instead of compounding the other person's problems with your rash reaction. It will make the day better for everyone involved if you react with kindness and empathy.

2. Ask your children questions about others

A really great way to help your kids understand the world from others' perspectives is to ask important questions while you read to them. When something happens in the story, ask your child how that might make each character feel and why. Help them to see the different perspectives.

If your child comes home from school crying from being hurt by a friend or another child, you can ask them how he/she feels. Then ask them why they think the other child may have behaved that way. Are they being hurt at home? Are they hungry? Were they having a bad day?

This can help your child learn to respond kindly no matter the situation.

3. Help them see cues from others that may indicate how they're feeling

For younger children, there are lots of books that model faces expressing various emotions such as happy, sad, mad, scared, excited, etc. These can help younger kids recognize how someone is feeling by their facial expressions. Discuss how you can help someone feel better if they are sad or mad.

Additionally, when children have a disagreement, you can ask them how they think the other is feeling by their facial expression or other physical cues they are giving off. Stomping feet, slumped shoulders, crying, and crossed arms are all cues children can learn to recognize from others.

Empathy is the antidote to meanness. When you and your children can see people as real people with thoughts, feeling, problems and other circumstances (both seen and unseen) of their own, they will also begin to have empathy for them. By teaching your kids to recognize verbal and physical cues from others, and to see others rather than just themselves, they will become more compassionate, considerate, kind, and empathetic adults.
Sign up for our E-Newsletters
How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
ce406c66b9871a104ac24256a687e4821d75680dcfc89d9e5398939543f7f88f
A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
Latest Obituaries