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17 striking questions you should ask your husband
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He may have asked, Will you marry me? but now it's his turn to answer a question or two. - photo by Emily Cummings
Communication is key when it comes to marriage. Unfortunately, How was your day? doesnt usually allow the details of life to seep into conversation. Dont be satisfied with questions that only encourage simple one-word answers. Take time every now and then to delve into these deeper 17 questions for couples to see where your marriage is at.

Are you happy when Im not around?

Of course you should both be happy when you are together, but if your husband is only happy when he's with you, that's a problem. Finding happiness on your own is going to make you stronger people, which will in turn strengthen your marriage.

Is this everything you wanted marriage to be?

Its been said that expectation is the root of all heartache." But that's only if expectations aren't met, which will happen if you arent communicating what you want out of your life together. Your husband might not say his expectations out loud unless you ask him directly. Ask.

How am I making you a better person?

Marriage should build both partners up, should change the couple for the better, and should focus on the positive aspects of the relationship.

Are we on the same page?

This question can lead to some pretty heavy but vital discussions. Do you have the same thoughts about children? Parenting? Switching careers? Moving to another state? Finances? Education?

Is our relationship healthy? Is it balanced?

Are you both contributing to making this marriage work? Is someone doing more emotionally? Is someone handling all the responsibilities? While you and your partner might not take on totally opposite roles, someone feeling like he or she is doing more work than the other is going to cause conflict.

Who am I?

Obviously your husband knows who you are, but does he really know who you are? Asking your husband to describe who he thinks you are is a beautiful opportunity for you both to learn more about each other and yourselves. Do you like what he said? Is his description accurate?

How are we growing together? How are we growing apart?

Marriage will change you both: no one stays the same as time passes. But even if the answers to these questions arent what you want them to be, be honest and encourage honesty in your spouse. If you are growing apart, why do you feel distant? How can you change it?

Are you there for me?

Its important to be supported financially, but does your partner truly support you emotionally? Does your spouse want you to achieve your goals, even the ones he may not think are realistic or credible? On the flip side, ask your husband if he feels like you are really there for him. Make sure by your words and actions he knows you are.

What do you think being in love with me specifically means?

This definition will change over time, but its a good question to ask because it helps you both evaluate the romance in the relationship. Dont let your husband be general. Have him give you specifics! Does this changing definition still give you butterflies?

What was it about me that made you want to marry me?

Though youve talked about past relationships before, this is slightly different. What made you different than other people he dated? What caused your marriage to materialize?

Am I still me?

While you both will change through marriage, you dont want to lose your sense of identity. Checking in to see if you are still the same person you were when you first met can lead to a fun walk down memory lane.

Is there anything about our relationship that scares you?

Dont shy away from feeling vulnerable and being honest. Knowing what your partner is uncomfortable with gives you the chance to change what needs to be changed in order to add security to your marriage.

How will our relationship be better 5 years? In 20 years?

This question sounds a little general, but bringing out specifics is going to be exciting as you look toward the future. What things will have changed? What habits will have gotten better?

Can you tell me what my goals are?

Take time to check if you and your husband share the same goals. Also check if he knows what you are personally working towards. He cant give you the support you want if your goals are secret.

Why are you proud of me?

Okay, so this could just be a minute of getting some positive feedback and stroking the old ego a bit, but knowing your spouse is proud of you is important. You shouldnt doubt his support, and it feels good knowing he thinks you are worth bragging about.

What are our major problems or roadblocks?

Hopefully none of these problems come as a surprise, but it gives you both the chance to talk about the shared problems in your marriage. Whats standing in your way to being happier? What specific things can you both do to resolve an issue?

What will never change about you? About me?

This last question has the potential to be adorableunless he says your eternal habit is hitting the snooze button 18 times before getting up. Thats less cute...but hey, at least hes honest.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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