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15 mistakes everyone should experience firsthand
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We tend to avoid any mistake at all costs, but are there some blunders worth making? - photo by Benedict Brychta
Bill Clintons indiscretions with a White House intern were a horrible mistake; Richard Nixons authorization for burglars to break into the Democratic National Committee Headquarters in the Watergate Hotel was a horrible mistake.

We learn about these epic fails and sometimes say to ourselves, How could they be so stupid?

A little closer to homea friend flunks out of school because he partied too much; another friend lost her job because of playing games and browsing Facebook at work.

We learn of these horrible mess-ups and vow not to make them ourselves.

However, there are some big blunders we should make ourselves. Why? Because we learn from them and develop a resiliency as we figure out how we are going to fix them and bounce back.

Here are 15 mistakes everyone needs to make on their own because they will gain mountains of knowledge.

1. Bombing publicly

Whether it is for a speech, some sort of presentation or an athletic event (scoring a goal for the opposite team), public mistakes can be humiliating. We feel as if we want to retreat from everyone who has witnessed the mistake. We have to develop ways to deal with the humiliation, however, because, short of moving away, we are not going to change our environments. We can choose from several strategies, including humor, and the experience will prepare us for similar mistakes bound to come later.

2. Getting into a bad relationship

We can come out of these with our egos destroyed, in bad financial straits and even heartbroken. It takes time to heal, of course; but in that healing process, we learn a great deal about ourselves and figure out how to move on to new relationships that will be successful.

3. Taking a bad job

Sometimes we are stuck with this big mistake for a while because it may take some time to find a better one. But we learn what to look for, and we are much smarter as we conduct our search.

4. Hitting rock bottom

Many highly successful people have hit rock bottom. So, if this happens to you, you have good company. In most instances, we are able to re-evaluate our values and emerge much stronger.

5. Feeling entitled and having that entitlement taken away

This often happens to kids who are at the top of their game in high school and who feel that everyone should accommodate them. They go off to college, and all of that entitlement disappears. Its a shock. But getting through that successfully makes a person aware of the value of others, more tolerant and less judgemental.

6. Making a mistake that ends in job termination

This can be a blow to ones confidence, but there are big lessons to be learned that will not be repeated gain.

7. Being offensive to others

Everyone has a right to an opinion. However, when that opinion is verbalized in such a way that it offends others, there can be horrific backlash and loss of respect in the eyes of many. These mistakes are difficult to fix because an Im sorry will not be enough. From this experience we learn how to speak with tact and sensitivity.

8. Burning bridges

We may leave a job under bad circumstances, then engage in public boss bashing. These things can come back to haunt. Likewise, cutting off a personal or professional relationship under negative circumstances may be regretted years later. The best lesson we learn from this is to watch what we say and do and be mindful of future consequences.

9. Taking a risk and failing

Successful people all say that a failure is really only a failure if we learn nothing in the process. We need to fail so we know what not to do next time.

10. Blaming others for our failures

This attitude dooms a person to more failure because nothing changes if its "all someone elses fault." At some point when all the someones have abandoned this individual, the awakening comes, an invaluable awakening that teaches you self-reliance.

11. Telling a big lie and getting caught

Oh, the embarrassment of it all. And the consequences can be quite severe. Experiencing this humiliation is usually punishment enough and a good deterrent from a repeat performance.

12. Not managing time

Lack of time management has severe consequences on the job and in life. When the chaos becomes too much, most people will make the effort to learn how to manage their time and thus their lives.

13. Letting others rescue you

The problem with this behavior is that the rescued person is then tied to the rescuer and often trapped into being a bit controlled by that person. The other problem with being rescued is that one never develops the ability to work through problems and issues on his/her own. When you make this mistake, you learn the real value of standing on your own two feet.

14. Quitting a job with no plan

In a fit of anger, a person walks out. Now, faced with no job, bills to pay and other responsibilities, the quitter will have to hit the ground running and may end up in a new job that is worse than the last. But getting through such an extremely crummy consequence of being rash, teaches us to be wiser the next time around.

15. Bombing an interview

This is a great learning experience and certainly fosters humility. Being humble is a good trait to develop, even if it is developed under really bad conditions.

When we make some whopper blunders, we experience a great deal of inner negativity, turmoil, embarrassment, guilt and worse. But every blunder teaches us important lessons if we let them. Look at your goofs as your greatest teachers. You will then emerge from them strong, resilient and able to face the next mistake with much better perspective.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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