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7 ways to approach the art of 'grandparenting'
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There are now approximately 80 million baby boomers in America, according to the United States Census Bureau, and many of them are grandparents.

And with the ever-rising life expectancy averages, many of us will be grandparents for 30 or 40 years or more. Whereas people used to hope to live long enough to become grandparents, we now plan on living to see our grandkids graduate from college, marry and produce great-grandchildren for us.

With this extra time, many grandparents are adding to their definition of what grandparenting is and thinking about how the role can take a more central place in their lives.

This has certainly been the case with us. We recently welcomed grandchildren Nos. 30 and 31.

Several years ago, as we were trying to formulate just what our goals and plans should be for grandparenting, we noticed that despite the thousands of parenting books available, there were very few grandparenting books. So we began collecting our thoughts and started on a jointly authored manuscript.

We realized that what grandmothers need and want — and the way in which they think of their role — is quite different than what grandfathers want. Both grandparenting roles are important but also different.

However, many of the most important things apply to both grandpas and grandmas. A few of the key things that we believe apply across the board are:

1. Set goals concerning how much time you want to spend with grandkids, then make plans about the ways to organize that time most effectively. Find a balance between too much time and too little time.

2. Strive for an individual, unique relationship with each grandchild that represents the individuality of that child and makes him or her feel special.

3. Understand that the best thing you can be to small grandchildren is their “buddy.” For elementary kids, strive to be their “champion,” and for adolescents and teens, be their “listening, nonjudging consultant.”

4. Meet with the parents (your children) to discuss and brainstorm how each grandchild is doing. Work together in deciding who can do what to meet each challenge and opportunity. We have found that families that take this two-generation teamwork approach deepen relationships as they work out what is best for each child and who is the best parent or grandparent to work on it.

5. Be the connecting link that informs your grandchildren of their great-grandparents. Kids who know about their ancestors, who have a real family narrative, are more resilient and have a stronger sense of identity than those who do not.

6. Be a gatherer. Be the one that gets the extended family together and who facilitates strong bonds between cousins and between kids and their uncles and aunts.

7. As your financial situation allows, be a facilitator who helps out intelligently and in consultation with parents to meet your grandkids' needs. Some kind of matching grant for educational opportunities and other worthwhile things can make a big difference.

As New York Times No. 1 best-selling authors, the Eyres have now written 50 books and speak throughout the world on families and life-balance. For additional information see www.valuesparenting.com or www.TheEyres.com.
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Have You Seen This? Street musician slays with clarinet
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Better than almost every face-melting guitar or drum solo. - photo by Facebook video screenshot

THE BIG EASY — Yeah, yeah, we all know that New Orleans is stuffed to the gills will incredible musicians.

But knowing that fact and then hearing that fact are two different things. You can step into any number of jazz clubs on any given night on Bourbon Street, and you’ll probably be impressed with virtually every act. Or you can sit at home on your comfy couch and watch this featured video.

In the video, you’ll see a woman who is in the groove. She is swinging hard, and wailing on her clarinet with a practiced expertise that makes it sounds so easy.

From note one you’ll be drawn in; your appreciation will grow with every second, and then your face will melt off when you realize how incredible she really is.

If you’ve never played a woodwind or a brass, you may not know everything that comes with a performance like this. Lung capacity and breath control are huge factors in keeping your notes clear and loud, and hitting those high notes is especially difficult.

So when this woman hits that high note and holds it for several seconds, you know you’re dealing with an exceptional musician. It means she has worked hard for years to develop skill on top of her natural talent, and we get to benefit.

It kinda makes you wonder how we let people get away with mumble rap and autotune when talent like this exists in the world.

I wish this video were longer, and I wish I had more information about this woman, but as it is, we’ll just have to appreciate the little flavor of New Orleans jazz posted by the Facebook group Clarinet Life.

Street musician killing it on clarinet

She must have lungs of iron! Its inspiring hearing the upper registers being played so well.

Posted by Clarinet Life on Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Martha Ostergar is a writer who delights in the ridiculous that internet serves up, which means she's more than grateful that she gets to cruise the web for amazing videos to highlight for your viewing pleasure.
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