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A quick PMFL for you kids

Not much space this week to ramble on about stuff in need of expounding, like whether half of today’s drivers even know they’re running around with their brights on, blinding the rest of us.

Probably not. We live in a time when the self-centered and obnoxious rule the roads, and America First trickles down to meaning Me First and everybody else can eat shorts. This week’s standings: The Rev. Lawrence “Liturgical Larry” Butler is in first with 19 misses.

Mike Brown, the world’s youngest sportswriter, and Ted O’Neil are in second with 20 misses. I think Ted’s actually a ‘Squatch, albeit a clean shaven one.

Third goes to County Administrator Ben Taylor with 21 misses. This is an appropriate spot for Ben, who is shorter than 99.9 percent of all fourth graders. He fits right in in third.

Noah Covington and Mike Clark are tied for fourth with 22 misses. In fifth is Carter Infinger, with 24 misses. And yep, Carter has pills.

Our resident dental expert, Gene Wallace, DMD, and the man who does all this hard work, retired Chief Admiral Petty Officer B.J. Clark, USN, are tied for sixth with 25 misses.

In seventh are your’s truly and Chief Freddy Howell, who uses generic Crisco on his ‘do. And in last is Alex Floyd, who has twinkle toes.

This week’s games, abbreviated: Air Force vs. Navy: Those of us with couth pick Navy. You can tell who we are by looking.

Ol’ Miss vs. Auburn: A lot of us pick Auburn, including B.J.

Tennessee vs. Alabama: B.J. goes out on a limb and takes the Vols because he loves Auburn.

Duke vs. FSU: Everybody takes the Noles.

Ohio State vs. Penn State: I’m only PSU picker. I wouldn’ t pick Ohio State if they were in my nose. And that’s about the only place down here Buckeyes ain’t got to yet. Later.

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