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Senior moments: Songs, bacon and the world of political correctness
Rich DeLong

Has anyone else besides me noticed that it has been really cold lately? Baby, it’s not just outside either. In fact, just about anywhere you look or turn you can find a cold comment regarding just about anything that was ever said, sung or written.

Take for example the recent effort to ban the hit holiday song, “Baby It’s Cold Outside.” In the 1944 tune, written by Frank Loesser and sung by many famous duo’s, a female sings: “I really can’t stay,” to which a man responds: “But baby, it’s cold outside.”

In another part of a song, a woman is heard singing lines like “Say what's in this drink?”, “The answer is no” and “I've gotta get home.”

The song is playful and flirtatious for sure, but that’s it. To weave anything more into the song is truly a travesty. The initial move to scrap the song came when Cleveland station WDOK removed the tune after one listener called in and suggested that it’s not appropriate to play the 1940s classic in 2018.

I could be wrong, but maybe what we should really be thinking is how shameful it is to apply today’s mindset to a classic and traditional holiday song.

Just about everyone and every group is getting into this game. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, the group better known as PETA, thinks we should change the phrase, “bring home the bacon” to “bring home the bagels.” Really?

I like PETA for what they stand for. I also like bacon and I like bagels, too, so I have no problem bringing both home. And I see no harm in using either phrase. However, the phrase my wife loves the most is, “Show me the money!”

Here’s a few more suggestions by PETA regarding a more animal-friendly way of commenting:

·        "Killing two birds with one stone" becomes "feeding two birds with one scone."

·        "Hold your horses" becomes "hold the phone."

·        "Let the cat out of the bag" becomes "spill the beans."

·        And my favorite, "All your eggs in one basket" becomes "all your berries in one bowl."

Wow! Shut the front door – I can’t believe I’m even writing this.

But wait, there’s more. Just today I met a very nice man and his wife who will be moving into Seagrass Village next month. They came by my office to see the progress on their new villa and to say hello.

I introduced myself to the elderly couple and the gentleman said, “Hey, my name is Rich, too. But I go by” – and then he stopped in mid-sentence. Then he took a deep breath and he said, “My friends call me Dick, but I’m not sure how politically correct that name is anymore.”

Again, I say, what a shame. The perversion of our good past by today’s modish society is ruining our country. I mentioned that my father’s name was Richard but he went by Dick as well. It’s a good name I told him.

Anyone remember who we were introduced to in first grade as we began to learn how to read? That’s right. Dick and Jane. I can picture them like it was yesterday. The series of “Dick and Jane” books might not have been the most exciting or adventurous, but I did learn how to read.

Tomorrow is another day and I’ll be working hard to bring home the – well, let’s just say I’ll be working hard. Stay warm, my friends!

 Rich DeLong, formerly of Richmond Hill, is the executive director for The Villas & The Grand of Seagrass Village in Panama City Beach, FL. Email him at

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