Alex Floyd, Local Columnist

Games this weekend:

• Georgia Southern @ Old Dominion

• Washington @ Purdue

• Florida @ Texas

• Ohio State @ Indiana

• Nebraska @ Oregon

• Alabama @ Tennessee

• Auburn @ Georgia

• Penn State @ Michigan

• TCU @ Baylor

• Georgia Tech @ Virginia Tech

PMFL player picks:

BJ: GSU, Washington, Texas, OSU, Oregon, Ala, Georgia, Michigan, Baylor, Ga Tech

Ted: Old Domin., Purdue, Texas, Indiana, Oregon, Ala, Georgia, Penn State, Baylor, Va Tech

Mike B: GSU, Purdue, Texas, OSU, Nebraska, Ala, Georgia, Michigan, Baylor, Va Tech

Alex: GSU, Purdue, Florida, Indiana, Nebraska, Ala, Georgia, Michigan, Baylor, Va Tech Bob: GSU, Washington, Texas, Indiana, Nebraska, Ala, Georgia, Michigan, Baylor, Va Tech Ben: GSU, Washington, Texas, OSU, Oregon, Ala, Georgia, Michigan, Baylor, Va Tech

Jeff: Old Domin., Washington, Fla, Indiana, Nebraska, Ala, Georgia, Penn State, Baylor, Ga Tech

Noah: GSU, Purdue, Texas, OSU, Oregon, Ala, Georgia, Penn State, Baylor, Ga Tech

Mike C: GSU, Purdue, Texas, OSU, Oregon, Ala, Georgia, Penn State, Baylor, Ga Tech

Doc: GSU, Purdue, Texas, OSU, Oregon, Ala, Georgia, Michigan, Baylor, Ga Tech

Carter: GSU, Purdue, Texas, OSU, Nebraska, Ala, Georgia, Michigan, Baylor, Va Tech

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Hello, sportsfans and welcome to another mind-numbing, banjo strumming, pipe plumbing, cookie crumbling edition of the Pembroke Football Mafia League. A shakeup week as Texas goes horns down and none of us picked them.

I thought perhaps we needed some more in depth, scientific analysis to better our football fortune telling so I gave Jeff a pint jar of my late pappy’s liquid knowledge and let it roll.

Here are his picks. Bless his heart. In his own words:

ODU: The end of the Chad Helton misery at Ga.

Southern can’t come fast enough. He’s almost as bad as Brian VanGorder, except VanGorder only gave us Iggles one year of misery.

Helton apparently thinks he’s doing a great job and building the kind of culture that 20 years from now might pay off in an 8-win season. Plus he looks like Mr. Potato Head if Mr. Potato Head was a deer caught in the headlights.

Not that I have much room to talk. I look like somebody crossed a hobbit with a Mr. Potato Head and an Oompa Loompa, except I’m not orange. Yet.

Washington: I like chicken, but can’t do Purdue.

There used to be a Purdue flavored mailbox in front of a house in Westwood, a neighborhood near my wife’s home (she lets me stay there too, sometimes), in Rincon. I think the guy who lived there about 20 years ago cut up some people with a Skilsaw and put them in coolers in his garage. Or maybe I got the wrong house.

Maybe the guy with the Skilsaw lived in the scary house where they never took down the Christmas lights.

That kind of adds up.

Florida: I won’t be watching this one. Texas coach Steve Sarkisian has weird skinny supermodel man-boobs. I know this because in the Oklahoma game he wore a shirt that accentuated them. It bothers me that I noticed them and thought he should’ve put on a coat. Or at least a bra of some sort.

Indiana: I wouldn’t pick Ohio State if they were playing Iran, China and Vladimir Putin at the same time.

Nebraska: Because at least the Huskers wear football uniforms. Not sure what Oregon is doing these days, but it looks like the end of civilization as we know it.

Alabama: The Tide should’ve beat UGA, but didn’t, so they’ll truck the Vols by a score of something like 1,005-2. I hope.

The brake shoes will come off in the first quarter.

UGA: Bulldogs Coach Kirby Smart sure picks his nose a lot. I keep wondering what he does with the, er, you know, boogers.

Maybe that’s Georgia’s secret weapon. Kirby lets opponents see him wiping them on things they have to try to throw, carry, punt, kick or tackle.

Penn State: I flipped a coin. Still, Michigan has cool helmets. Gotta think the real Wolverine would like ‘em.

Baylor: I like green and I like yellow. I like purple too, but only when it’s on a 1959 Corvette convertible.

Or the Baltimore Ravens.

Or Grape Ape.

Georgia Tech: I’m probably wrong. When I pick a team I like to win, it’s the PMFL equivalent of the Kiss of Death.

Alex Floyd is on the Bryan County Board of Commisioners. Jeff Whitten is a retired newspaper editor.