Mike Thompson
Local Columnist
It’s back-to-school season: when backpacks double as portable garbage disposals, parents juggle schedules like caffeinated circus performers, and teenagers mysteriously develop the ability to survive entirely on granola bar crumbs and whatever liquid comes in the brightest, most nuclear-looking packaging.
The pace is bonkers—and if we’re not careful, sugar and screen time will hijack this whole operation faster than you can say “charged lemonade.”
But this year? We’re flipping the entire script. With a little planning, some strategic structure, and maybe a dash of parental humor, parents can turn this beautiful chaos into the healthiest school year yet.
Let’s have an uncomfortable chat about what’s actually going down the hatch when you’re not looking.
Over 60% of children guzzle at least one sugary drink daily-”fruit” drinks (spoiler: there’s no actual fruit), iced teas that could moonlight as pancake syrup, sodas, “energy water,” and electric lemonades that glow like they belong in a nuclear power plant.
These sugar bombs account for 15% of a child’s daily calories with absolutely zero nutritional value. Every extra sweetened drink increases obesity risk by up to 80%. That’s not just empty calories-that’s expensive calories. We’re talking blood sugar roller coasters, soap opera-worthy mood swings, focus issues, and a direct highway to diabetes and heart disease.
Add caffeine to this liquid disaster? Hold onto your parenting hats. Some drinks pack more caffeine than three Red Bulls, disguised as “Tropical Wellness Blast” in colors visible from outer space. A few of these caffeinated nightmares led to deaths and lawsuits before getting yanked from shelves.
The beverage industry’s motto seems to be: “If it’s neon and sells, ship it immediately.” They’re literally marketing disease-one combo meal and rainbow “hydration drink” at a time.
The Parent Survival Plan (That Actually Works)
Here’s how to outsmart the madness and help your kids have their healthiest year yet.
Pack snacks and fill water bottles before bedtime. Think apples, cheese sticks, nuts, or a small smoothie. Future- you will thank past-you when morning hits like a caffeinated tornado.
Establish the sacred family rhythm: homework first, screens second. Yes, this will trigger groans that could power a small wind farm. But it builds lifelong habits. (Our girls grumbled like tiny revolutionaries but today one’s saving lives as a doctor, the other engineers softly (or is it software? Too high tech for Dad). Turns out structure pays serious dividends.)
Designate a proper homework zone: clear desk, decent lamp, chair that says “focus” not “naptime.” Tech stays in another room; those notifications are like having hyperactive squirrels providing unning commentary on everything.
Keep healthy snacks visible and terrible ones strategically hidden. Out of sight equals out of stomach. It’s basic parenting physics.
Purpose: Give Health a Real Why
Weekly family dinner check-ins: “What’s one thing we can improve this week—food, focus, or fun?” Keep it light, keep it real. Connect habits to their actual dreams: strong minds need strong bodies, and both lead to strong futures.
Listen, no child wants kale smoothies at breakfast and quinoa salad for lunch. They need consistency, encouragement, and a parent who models just enough structure to keep chaos from completely taking over.
Kids will do exactly what you let them get away with. The beautiful part is they’ll also rise to meet whatever you reasonably expect.
Reality check: One fast-food dinner and a soda won’t wreck a kid. Five nights in a row absolutely will.
The Bottom Line
This school year doesn’t have to steamroll your family’s health. With a little preparation, reasonable expectations, and parents who show up with a plan (and maybe a sense of humor), this could be the launching pad for the best habits your family’s ever built.
Your kids are watching, learning, and secretly hoping you’ll care enough to guide them through this beautifully chaotic time called growing up.
Small, consistent changes beat dramatic overhauls every single time. Your family’s health is wealth—invest wisely.
Mike Thompson is a health coach and author of the Nutritional Wealth series. When he’s not writing prescriptions for common sense, he’s proving that good health doesn’t require a PhD in kale science. Contact him at mike@selfcaresustained. com or find more life-saving wisdom (disguised as readable advice) in his weekly Nutritional Wealth column.