President Trump was criticized by nutritionists last weekend for setting a bad example with his love of Big Macs and Kentucky Fried Chicken. His diet makes it impossible to poison him. During their lunch break at the Helsinki summit, Putin gave Trump a McDonald’s salad and the E. coli died.
NASA marked the 49th anniversary of the first moon landing Friday, recalling the night that Neil Armstrong became the first man ever to step foot on the lunar surface. That man showed more faith in mankind than anyone ever did. Armstrong returned to Earth, and he had a choice.
An NBC poll says 70 percent of Democrats want to see a fresh face to run for president in 2020. That’s easy. Just send Biden, Bernie and Hillary to Beverly Hills for two weeks and we’ll send them back to Washington with faces so fresh they’ll look like their Vietnam War protest photos.
Hillary Clinton addressed a Central Park Festival Sunday and slammed Trump for not having a stenographer present during last week’s Helsinki summit. The only reason Hillary lost the election was due to bad luck. She just happened to be running for president the same day Donald Trump was.
The New York Times slammed President Trump for inviting Putin to the White House without consulting aides. The media frenzy isn’t working. The Gallup Poll says the number of Americans who believe the situation with Russia is a major problem is less than one percent, tied with skim milk.
The White House said security plans are underway for Russia’s Vladimir Putin to visit the U.S. in September. He can rise to the occasion in formal settings. No one could forget Putin’s brief but eloquent eulogy 12 years ago at Boris Yeltsin’s state funeral, when Putin said he didn’t do it.
Los Angeles Police pursued a motorist suspect to a Trader Joe’s in Hollywood Saturday where he pulled a gun and held customers hostage for hours before surrendering. It was pretty tense. For a while no one was certain if the hostages were going to be able to make it out with their Almond Milk.
President Trump reignited the NFL’s National Anthem policy Friday, tweeting his disgust over the league tabling its rule that they must stand. Soccer players are more respectful. At the World Cup, the French team not only stood for Germany’s national anthem, they raised their arms in the air.
The NFL Players’ Association objected to Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones for warning that any player on his team who doesn’t stand for the anthem will be suspended. The protest wasn’t pretty to watch last year. No one has seen this many Cowboys on one knee since Brokeback Mountain.
San Francisco residents expressed their anger at a city council meeting over the city’s rapidly worsening homeless problem plaguing America’s most expensive city to live in. Many homeless defiantly leave their feces on city sidewalks. The mayor’s clueless, she thinks the problem is Shinola.
Hamilton is the host at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and entertains groups and organizations around the country. E-mail him at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.