Jeff Whitten, Local Columnist
An old acquaintance and I were shooting the breeze the other day when he offered up what I believe to be a pretty good idea.
He called it the Backyard First movement.
“I think if we all worried first and foremost about what is happening in our own backyard, and everybody else did the same with their backyards, we’d be a lot better off,” he said. “One of our problems now is that everybody wants to worry about what’s happening in somebody else’s backyard to the point we’re neglecting our own.”
That’s an interesting notion, I said, and it reminded me to bring up the proposed nickel refinery in Richmond Hill.
“I’d be surprised if local business folks let a nickel refinery locate itself in the most upscale town this side of Hilton Head,” I said. “A nickel doesn’t sound very upscale. I bet they’ll demand at least an American gold eagle refinery.”
My buddy nodded. I was getting his drift, he said, unlike a whole lot of folks who think because he tends to talk to himself he’s lost the plot.
“We’re so focused on what that maniac in the White House will do next, or what his predecessor did, or his predecessor before him, we’re neglecting to keep an eye on what’s going on right here in our own back yard, and look at what’s happening,” he said, and started preaching to the choir.
“Traffic’s off the hook and everywhere you look somebody is clearcutting to make way for development. You can’t go five feet without getting stuck behind a dump truck or a semi.
Next thing you know somebody will be putting a chain of hog rendering plants in J.F. Gregory Park. And a giant fireworks and pork rinds operation right outside the front gate of Ford Field and River Club.”
Wait a second, I said, back up a second. Seventy seven million people voted for the president. I wasn’t one of them, but I know this because I was reminded of it recently.
“Well, 75 million voted for his opponent, and an estimated 20 million registered voters didn’t cast a ballot, and maybe another 40 or so million who were eligible to register to vote didn’t bother to do so” my friend said. “So more people didn’t vote for him than did, but see what we’re doing? We’re discussing results from the 2024 presidential election rather than focusing on what’s going on right here at home, and developers are shoving all kinds of stuff right up our collective behinds.”
True, I said, but they’ve been doing that a while. We’re kind of used to it.
Besides, I respect those young folks who protested against ICE the other day, and most of the ugliness of that particular government operation is happening elsewhere at the moment.
“Me too,” said my buddy. “People need to stand up to bullies, and in cases like this our country is one big backyard. We all have an interest in what’s happening in places like Minneapolis.”
I reminded him some folks maintain ICE is only doing its job and going after people here illegally.
“I just think there has to be a better way,” my friend said. “And there are at least two dead Americans who might beg to differ. I’ll leave it at that for now. Besides, another 2,500 houses and two dozen warehouses just went up in coastal Georgia. By the time we get done sucking up the Floridan aquifer, it’s probably going to be a mudpuddle.”
Sad but true, I said, my powers of concentration waning. The idea of pork rinds was sort of making me hungry.But my buddy wasn’t done.
“In addition to my Backyard First Rule, I also would propose a Pot and Kettle Clause,” he said. “In short, nobody could accuse anybody of anything without first announcing whether they’d done something similar themselves. If they did, they’d automatically turn into giant mounds of blubbery lard. In wingtip shoes.”
Ah, I thought, now he’s talking about all that stuff we were supposed to learn in kindergarten but apparently didn’t. “This would mostly apply to politicians and talking heads and folks who spend all day on social media judging others,” my buddy continued, but I stopped him there.
“How do you enforce the Pot and Kettle Clause? Some pots, even if they do get turned into lard, will just say it’s all fake news and keep on saying bad things about kettles. They’ll tell us to believe them, not our eyes,” I said.
That stumped him for a second, but he isn’t one to get bogged down in details. Like most of us, he’s a big picture guy.
“Don’t try to sidetrack me,” he said. “We can also have the old rubber and glue rule, so whatever you say will bounce off me and stick to you – or anybody out there saying bad things about somebody else.”
He paused for a second. “Of course, some people, including me and you, might deserve to have bad things said about them, but when you come right down to it, who are we to judge one another,” he noted, and kept on thinking out loud.
“I think my Backyard First idea is kind of a take on the America First notion,” he said, “but maybe different in that I’m not saying you should put your backyard first at the expense of all other backyards, but you should focus on making sure your backyard is in good shape before you tell somebody else what to do with theirs. It doesn’t mean you stop helping them if they need help. Does that make sense?”
Not in today’s world, I said. Besides, that’s what HOAs are for. That leaves the rest of us free to do more important stuff, like meddle and name call and point fingers instead of actually figuring out how to solve problems.
Besides, I said, more rules and regulations usually mean more people finding ways around them. Look at how some rich folks bend over backwards not to pay the taxes they owe. No wonder they get embarrassed when their tax returns get leaked.
“I know,” my friend said. “Maybe there should only be one rule, and it would be a good one if folks would just stick to it.”
And what rule would that be, I asked.
“The real golden rule. Not the one that says he who has the gold make the rules, but the one that says simply treat others the way you want them to treat you in the same circumstances.”
You must be a liberal, I said. And sorry, but it’ll never happen.
Whitten is an occasional columnist for the News.