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Humor: We shall fight them on Twitter
God bless America and how is everybody
Argus Hamilton
Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and entertains groups and organizations around the country. - photo by File photo

HOLLYWOOD — God bless America, and how’s everybody?

President Trump saw the Churchill movie "The Darkest Hour" Monday. It inspired him. Trump declared that we shall fight the mainstream media on Twitter, we shall fight them on Snapchat, we shall fight them on Facebook we shall fight them on Instagram, we shall never ever, ever surrender.

Atlanta Airport shut down for 11 hours Sunday due to a power outage, delaying thousands of stranded flyers. Hundreds were stuck on the runway in cramped planes. Airlines should just replace their seats with bales of hay to make the experience of traveling in a cattle car more authentic.

An Amtrak train sped off the rails on an overpass in Washington state Monday and landed on Interstate 5 traffic, while a power failure shut down Atlanta Airport for 12 hours. We’re being attacked. George W. Bush would’ve added the Transportation Department to the Axis of Evil by now.

The Museum of Television in Beverly Hills opened an exhibit of ’60s TV commercials. They advertised 007 Cologne as guaranteed to overpower women. Today, just dabbing it on could get you barred from show business, politics, TV news and the NFL owners box.

Alabama’s defeated GOP candidate Judge Roy Moore claimed that Democrats voted two and three times in some counties to help engineer Moore’s razor-thin loss. He will not go quietly. The difference between the Cleveland Browns and Judge Roy Moore is at least the Browns have conceded.

President Trump vowed Sunday he won’t fire Bob Mueller from the Russia-collusion probe. If there’s one thing both Democrats and Republicans taught us in the last presidential race it’s this. Dance like nobody’s watching, and e-mail like it could someday be printed out by the special counsel.

The Washington Post reported Monday Robert Mueller’s investigation into the Trump-Russia speculation could last another year. No one seriously thinks this is going anywhere. Republicans insist that Democratic elites are out to destroy President Trump for giving white privilege a bad name.

Disneyworld in Orlando reopened its Hall of Presidents exhibit Monday after being closed for re-design and to build a Trump robot. It took a year to get the look and sound just right. The robot work took a little longer than they expected since they had to remove the pantsuit and make him a guy.

The White House ordered the CDC to stop using the words vulnerable, diversity, trans-gender, entitlement, fetus, evidence-based and science-based in its reports. It pleased no one. Liberals are furious because they think it’s censorship and conservatives are furious because they forgot inclusion.

President Trump on Monday laid out his National Defense Strategy that will increase military spending to stand down China and Russia, and then back down North Korea and finish destroying radical Islam. Right now, al-Qaeda is kicking itself for not sending a third plane into Trump Tower.

"Star Wars: The Last Jedi" was a smash hit taking $200 million at the box office last weekend. The story includes inter-galactic racism, disfigured bodies with six fingers, and others covered head to toe in hair. Does anyone else think that the galaxy far away is actually Alaska?

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