HOLLYWOOD — God Bless America, and how’s everybody?
The Comedy Store in West Hollywood tonight marks my 42nd anniversary performing there as a stand-up comic. I always ask the emcee to mention how long I’ve been there when he introduces me. I take great pride in being the only Confederate statue today that’s being brought UP.
The Oscars ceremony in Hollywood had the lowest ratings in history Sunday. Emma Watson showed off her new forearm tattoo reading Times Up. The fact that she omitted the apostrophe suggested she should demand a refund from Brown University for her degree in English Literature.
Academy Awards host Jimmy Kimmel told reporters after the Oscars Sunday he’ll continue to slam Republicans in his talk show monologues. He’s safe in Hollywood. An actor friend of mine just changed his first name from Donald to Adolf to improve his chances of getting an agent in this town.
President Trump’s top economic advisor Gary Cohn resigned over the tariffs Tuesday. He got the tax cuts passed through Congress. If President Trump’s tax cuts wind up giving Americans enough money to turn the opioid epidemic into a cocaine epidemic, I think he’s as good as re-elected.
Porn star Stormy Daniels sued President Trump saying his lawyer broke their non-disclosure deal freeing her to talk about it. She’s not his political problem right now. Southern evangelicals can forgive Trump for cheating on his wife with a porn star but raising tariffs is against their religion.
The L.A. Times says a huge boom in Southern California real estate is underway with demand soaring. The article said Millennials are settling down in their 30s and entering the housing market. You realize you are maturing when you have plants in your living room that you can’t smoke.
President Trump made a peaceful overture to North Korea in Tuesday’s press conference. All they must do is to eradicate their nukes. If the North Koreans could witness a five-minute video showing Americans at self-checkout registers they’d realize they have got nothing to fear from the U.S.
The State Department failed to spend $140 millions which Congress voted for Secretary of State Tillerson to spend to fight Russian election meddling. The taxpayers keep sending cabinet members on expensive trips overseas. It might be worth it, but they keep coming back.
President Trump met with reporters Tuesday and he indicated flexibility on his tariff imposition on steel and aluminum. I’d say he has the aluminum can makers on his side. The logo on the Coors can changes from blue to red whenever a Millennial claims that the Russians cost Hillary the election.
George W. Bush was praised by the media for attacking President Trump’s immigration policy and his foreign policy last week. Say what you will about George W. Bush, but he wouldn’t have stood for those threats of missile attacks from North Korea. He’d have invaded New Zealand by now.
President Trump joked at the Gridiron Club that he liked the idea of China’s President Xi’s proposal that he be made the president of China for life. It gave social media a heart attack. Democrats may ridicule Trump for kidding that he likes China’s president-for-life proposal, but they’ll pay $800 to see Hamilton, who nearly got the same idea passed at the Constitutional Convention.
E-mail Hamilton at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.